Sorry for the delay, I have been quite busy lately.
(I had, initially, a longer response to your comments and suggestions but my browser crashed and I lost it all, so here's the condensed version)
<1. Can you explain the significance of “Administration” being capitalized, but not “state?” This appears to be from the original text with “Etat”. There’s also random capitalization in the German, but since it’s used throughout
the whole book, I’m guessing it’s some old custom used with blackletter typefaces.
It was a mistake on my part. Sorry.
<1. “New” is better than “current” to communicate the qualitative difference separating the new absolutist monarchy (the subject of chapter 2) and the old decentralized feudal monarchy. “Contemporary” is also OK if keeping “novel” is important.
I kept "novel" because I think it conveys better than "new", the "groundbreaking" aspect of the new administration which would later become part of the French Bourgeois State.
<4. I think there should be an editor’s note explaining what exactly these offices do, not that I’m knowledgeable enough to write it myself.
Neither am I.
I kept "municipal magistracy and dignities" (as in, respectively, "The office or dignity of a magistrate." and "High office, rank, or station") over your revision, "municipal magistrates and dignitaries", because I feel that yours would imply that the same people were kept in those new offices, the only difference being that now they would be under the direct control of the State, while I think, at least in the French version, that Kautsky is implying here that not only those offices were placed under the authority of the State but the local magistrates, close to the "old fashioned" feudal nobility, were replaced by members of the Court of Versailles or "urban" nobles (of the Robe). The emphasis (in French at least) is placed upon the offices themselves, not the office holders.
<7. Counselors as in therapists, or as in advisors?
Advisers (kept the British spelling for consistency's sake).
<1. Rising? Conquering seems extreme for Ancien Regime France. Google translate for the German word claims “emerging”.
It was the literal translation of the French version, went with your suggestion.
<1. I don’t understand what this sentence is supposed to mean? What reason?
Forgot the word "prestige", at the end of "The Parisian public opinion’s might was a decisive factor in the Parliament’s". Sorry.
<1. Progressive elements of the Parliaments? Or progressive people outside their class?
Of the Parliaments. I have now clarified the sentence (hopefully).
I hope this revised translation of Chapter 4 is now acceptable. However, it is true that I have committed two grave sins of translation (which no Jesus could possibly absolve), as my ex-roommate who studied translation in college at the time explained me; 1 - Always translate to
your native language, never from
it (I'm French)
2 - avoid "second order" translations, e.g. translating from Language A -> Language α -> Language B instead of going directly from Language A to Language B (in our case, German -> French -> English).
All of this would have been lessened, were my English stellar, but as you have surely seen, it's far from the case.
I can translate another chapter, if you give me the green light, however it might be wiser to wait for a more proficient translator to manifest themselves.