The easiest and quickest way to get better at socializing is talking to people IRL, but I know that's easier said than done because even i'm a recluse and say things like "I don't know what to say!" This quarantine has made things worse because I actually want to talk to people now ;-;

>>7308 >This quarantine has made things worse Yes, I've been working on social skills and regularly talking to new people for more than a year now and was looking forward to push further this year. The virus really fucked everything up. This whole year.

>>7310 >>7308 the worst part is that we don't even fucking know if this shitty virus is truly gone after the "hype" surrounding it is gone. Like imagine going out to socialize and getting the virus after everyone has returned to their work and the media is talking about other stuff.

>>7316 Protip; it won't be gone.

>>7316 We are reliant on a vaccine. But at least there is going to be standard medication for moderate cases soon.

>>7323 Hopefully, but don't get your hopes up

Thought about using apps like Tinder to look for new friends in the meantime. Thoughts?

>>7326 I've heard it is exclusively for hookups. Bumblebee I've heard is more for relationships and friends. But you can't dm people if you're a man. btw if you were going to use tinder for dating what would you do to keep away right wingers without having to virtue signal???

>>7330 I would advise using OKcupid instead, their matching and quiz algorithms will pretty much automatically tell you who you won't get on with, it's pretty sweet (and should be used and widened under socialism but that's a seperate issue)

>>7326 I used interpals to find friends near me. The site is used mostly for language learning, but there's a few people who wanna meetup or be penpals. The site is kinda outdated though. Okcupid also sounds like a nice idea, but it's mostly for relationships so meetup . com might be better.

We are so deep in irony that I can't talk serious politics with my friends (one of them is seriously right wing but progressive at the same time). I want to change that but you know the deal with ironic and self-aware people, everything you do is a performance. How do I escape from that without changing friends?

I've never had issues with this, my main problem is finding the motivation to actual get into social situations, a lot of the time I'd rather not. -have a gf and friends It frees you up to talk without thinking about future plans or commitments. Talking about your friends will also make you seem more normal. If you find that you don't have anything to say, just don't speak, if you try too cope with being awkward you will simply come across more awkward, stand up straight, and listen intently. To not look creepy this requires you to be moderately attractive, cut your hair, exercise, and shower every day, I know some of these are a meme, but if you do these things you can't go wrong. If you want to meet people you need to get a hobby first or something, people appreciate people who are trying new things, it's hard just trying to force friendship for the sake of it. Obviously it's almost impossible with corona, but ignoring that, go join a pottery class, make some cool bowls, don't worry too much and your life will improve. >>7347 I'd say just send them leftist memes and a conversation will form if you send something 'controversial', then you can work from there.

>>7517 >I'd say just send them leftist memes and a conversation will form if you send something 'controversial', then you can work from there. Stalin is controversial but you'll look like a lunatic defending someone like him. Try Castro then bring up how he freed slaves.

>>7347 you have to try to find the points of their arguments that allows them to have their ironic detachment and de-spook them on that shit. they probably have some socially reactionary viewpoint like disliking trans people or some shit which is why they adopt right-wing shit. while working on that, also talk about material issues and ground the idea of the material struggle in a political struggle that goes beyond the bounds of electoralism, unions are a good starting point for that. once he has let go of his reactionary shit and has an interest for material-based political struggles, you've basically done all the work, and from there most people self-radicalize.

>>7521 >Stalin is controversial but you'll look like a lunatic defending someone like him. That's just your superego talking lad, other than liberals people are pretty open to accepting Papa Stalin into their heart Just tell them about the worldly possessions he died with to begin with

>>7529 >worldly possessions he died with to begin with ? You could always go with the "bash the fash" angle that is popular nowadays. I mean he did help kill nazis.

>>7517 >I'd say just send them leftist memes and a conversation will form if you send something 'controversial', then you can work from there. I can't debate for shit, I spill my spaghettis every time I have a serious conversation because of how irony and being a coward brainlet too probably poisoned my social interactions. I'm sending funny not-that-political memes tho like picrel hoping in this particular case that it can make them realize how manufactured your consent is by media.

>>7528 He is rather socially progressive (we have a common trans friend he was very tolerant of immediately), and has his interests on the PMC side. He already knows (I think?) Marx's ideas and dialmat since we aren't burgers and it's just not in his class interest. He gets that electoralism is a spook. It's more that he doesn't care about politics since everything is a spectacle for him, even the communist struggle.

>>7538 All of Stalin's worldly possesions were a pipe, two uniforms, a pair of battered boots, an engraved multifunction knife like a swiss army knife and some rubles iirc

>>7330 Are you really so dedicated you won't even hook up with a right wing chick

>>7671 Does that come from his official hagiography? Stalin owned nearly 20,000 books at the end of his life and stored them in luxuriant residences, including literal palaces from tsarist times.

>>7330 >what would you do to keep away right wingers without having to virtue signal??? Just put "left wing politics" as an interest in your bio. Makes things clear enough for conservacucks without scaring away liberals the way "Marxism" would.

>>7701 The library was state property along with anything else you can mention Those were the only things his children inherited His daughter couldn't even live in her childhood home because it was an official residence It'd be as if she grew up in the Whitehouse or number 10 downing street if you're having trouble getting this

How do I meet new ppl and also find gf Thank

>>7758 Go to church or sangha or sign up for a dance class.

>>7330 If you're tempted to use Bumble just save yourself the time and cut your balls off.

Hey dunno if that anon is here but I'm >>>/leftypol/426646 Anyway yeah I'm still in school, but it's closed for the foreseeable future (I'm in New York so we're fucked for a while) and I'm stuck doing remote learning. I know and have done all the usual stuff: make small talk in class, "ready for the test?", "what's your major" etc. I've built up a rapport with a few people, but once class is done everyone just sort of goes about their own thing and I'm stuck alone again. Everyone seems to have groups to hang out with already. And it's frustrating because even though I'm usually awkward/autistic I tend to get along well with people and have fun talking once I get used to them. My English class last semester was great - it was the first time in years that I felt like I belonged and people liked me (one girl flat out told her friend "he's cool" and was disappointed when we weren't in the same group for a project). But I haven't seen any of them in any classes since, so it was all for nothing. I guess what frustrates me the most is that it feels like a paradox, where you can't make friends unless you already have friends. Even if I did make a friend, would they want to associate with a weird loner like me? I dunno anymore.

>>8035 Yeah, I'm the Anon. I'm in the same situation where because of the virus my university is closed and pretty much everything else too, so trying to build a social circle right now is kind of impossible. So this advice is for doing something once this is over. >I know and have done all the usual stuff: make small talk in class, "ready for the test?", "what's your major" etc. I've built up a rapport with a few people, but once class is done everyone just sort of goes about their own thing and I'm stuck alone again. Okay, that's good that you've approached people at least on this level, but I will tell you what I think is wrong with what you said and correct me if I'm making wrong assumptions. You are having mostly small talk and think there is a norm to abide when it comes to how to talk to people? One thing I learned is when you talk to people it's not about having this rational exchange of information like "I have this major, I liver there, I spend my time like this". Of course you gather information about the person you are talking to, but first and foremost it's about vibing with people. That's the actual goal of any casual social interaction. It's about building a vibe with people and to have fun. If you are stuck at this rational conversation stage, you are not going to be interesting to people beyond being a friendly & polite acquaintance at lectures. When I mentioned norms I meant rigidly following a belief of what you think you should say or "what is normal to ask", but that can be boring. Feel free to be spontaneous and creative in the way you talk to others. >Everyone seems to have groups to hang out with already. Yeah, but that doesn't make it an impossibility to still befriend them. In the first few semesters I made a couple of acquaintances that I don't talk to anymore. Then I met my friend group in the 3rd semester. They already knew each other, hung out with each other and had their group that I initially wasn't a part of. I think people who make this excuse, that friend groups already formed so that's somehow an issue, are too pussy to make a move themselves. Are you waiting for an invitation from them? Because it sounds like you are waiting for an invitation. It's true that it is more difficult to become a part of an existing friend group, because they seem less accessible, but if you don't want to be lonely you will need to find the courage to step out of your comfort zone and take the initiative to deepen your relationship with these people on your own. I'd give you the advice to talk to everyone of a friend group if possible, or at least as many as you can. You will become familiar to all of them, you will feel more at ease with them and feel less like a foreign intruder. Also have you asked anyone of them for their number? Because if so, I don't understand how meeting up outside of class didn't happen? Additionally, take the initiative to invite them or individuals of that group to do something with you. I believe this should all be obvious and perhaps you've done that, but that's up to you to give me the details what you have tried. I just think the solution is to take the initiative and make yourself part of that group, which is difficult if you are a more socially reserved or timid person. But I can understand, because I used to be like this as well. >a paradox, where you can't make friends unless you already have friends. It's easier to make more friends when you already have friends, but it's not impossible to make them when you don't have any yet. What's actually going on is that for a shy or introverted person it becomes very, very difficult to jump into the cold water and take the lead when it comes to approaching strangers, asking for their number and inviting them to things. It can be intimidating. So they are stuck not achieving anything beyond doing the comfortable stuff, like small talk with people, who due to circumstance are regularly in proximity, but that can change again. >with a weird loner like me So that has been a problem through out your post as well that you talk shit about yourself. I mean maybe you are awkward and unusual, but don't you think you are sabotaging your self-esteem and self-image here when you talk like it's a fact you are weird and undesirable? That's certainly going to have an impact in your sub-communication with others. You certainly have some qualities others will benefit from when they befriend you. Maybe you are a good listener. Maybe you have good ideas. Maybe you are very knowledgable.

>>7763 >Church I said I wanted to meet people, not beings who kick their 15 year old kids onto the street because they go to a different church from them.

>>8054 Go to courses/clubs/events of your interest that have people. Socialize with everyone. Be playful with girls. Push forward with girls who reciprocate the flirting and meet your standards.

>>8056 fuck off

>>8060 What's wrong buddy?

>>8044 >So this advice is for doing something once this is over. >over Anyway, I think you're right about me sabotaging myself. I've had a therapist tell me something similar as well as my parents in the past. Whenever I talk to people I'm constantly telling myself "they don't like you and don't want you talking to them" and basically try to rush through the conversation. Which ties into your first point, yeah, I definitely feel like I sometimes view conversations almost as dialogue trees. And it's weird because there are times where my brain just *clicks* and I find myself talking like a normal person (this is how I felt in my English class -- it was a morning class, a few of us would show up early and just chat about random stuff). So I know I'm capable of it, it just takes me getting over my anxiety to actually let it out. As for the friend group thing, I think my problem (at least with school) is that by the time I start to come out of my shell and become more comfortable with people, oops, semester's over and I never see them again and I'm not acquainted quite well enough with them to ask for contact info. I DID manage to get a few Snapchats last semester (and they were always the ones who offered), but I haven't actually communicated with any of them through that because... I dunno. I feel awkward doing that. It feels like I'm asking them on a date. I tell myself "this is weird, why would they even want to hear from you, let alone hang out?" It's dumb and ties back with my whole lack of self-esteem, which is probably the main underlying issue here. Doesn't help that because I'm an introvert, I don't go out much, so I have no idea where to invite people TO. This fall will be my third semester, so hopefully I'll end up like you and I'll finally find my group (assuming there's any actual on-campus classes in the fall, which is honestly seeming less likely as time goes by).

>>8080 >Whenever I talk to people I'm constantly telling myself "they don't like you and don't want you talking to them" and basically try to rush through the conversation. Not sure what to tell you there, cause I'm not an expert. I used to feel the same way about girls but I just ignore that potion of my mind and just go for it anyway. Gotta also work on your self-esteem as well, but you probably already knew that. Maybe Six Pillar of Self Esteem would be a good book for you. I'm reading it atm, it has some insights that weren't obvious. >So I know I'm capable of it, it just takes me getting over my anxiety to actually let it out. You are probably stuck in your head. Try meditation to be present to the moment. Meditation has a genuinely healthy impact, it isn't just woowoo spirituality crap. You probably should desensitize yourself to social interactions by having them frequently, so you stop feeling like they are a big deal. >and I'm not acquainted quite well enough with them to ask for contact info. You gotta step it up friend, I ask them for their number after the same lecture I met them, lol. You will get used to it, trust me. Just be like "hey we could study together some time". >but I haven't actually communicated with any of them through that because... I dunno. I feel awkward doing that. Anything stops being awkward when you do it often enough, that's one thing I learned in the past few years of becoming more extroverted. Overall, I do relate with you, I had some of the same issues. It's those psychological blockades you need to release. >hopefully No, it's all up to you and if you don't put in the effort it's going to remain a problem for the rest of your life. Just being honest.

Holy fucking shit its over for me bros, I'm really fucking autistic and I just can't into socialization. I literally got called a creep in a public gathering, I have never felt this humiliated in my life. Thinking of ending it all, I can't take this.

>>14769 who the fuck calls other creeps in their face? Red flags. You need to practice socializing before it becomes easier. You won't notice progress though.

I'm getting an ASD screen arranged when I can, I'm tired of being on my own and not knowing why I can't understand all these things everyone else seems to instinctively get, my social skills are terrible, my only friends are my step sister and my comrades in my group and I don't understand how I even got them to be friends with me, I'm glad for them, but they're mostly older than I am and we don't have a huge amount in common other than politics At least if I go and get told yes or no I can re-evalute, I think I have aspergers tbh, I have a lot of the traits and people that I trust have mentioned me being very very reserved and like a blank slate, i.e. unreadable in the past, I know for a fact that people find me super blunt because I get told so everytime I start a new job or interact with a new group, fit the solo sports and co-ordination, not liking certain stimulae as well as other criteria like the inability to express emotional thoughts clearly and terrible hand writing etc. I wonder if there are any groups in my area for high functioning spergs actually, one of those could be nice, go and interact with my fellow people of logic

>>14770 >You need to practice socializing before it becomes easier. But how am I supposed to do that when every single attempt at that goes so bad? This past event has especially made me so anxiety ridden I can barely feel like functioning in public places anymore.

>>14769 Context?

>>14773 can you volunteer somewhere? don't try to get people to like you. just be nice, that goes a huge way. you don't even have to talk much. avoid making too much eye contact. DON'T FLIRT what happened this last time? Maybe we could figure out something you should avoid in the future.

>>14781 >>14782 I tried to interact with a group of people in a club, I think they were strangers to each others too but for some reason they did not like my presence, I don't know why. One of them moved away initially after I greeted them and then another woman just straight up called me a "creep". And no, I didn't stare at their face, I don't understand. Maybe it's my voice? The way I talk? Or the face? The dress code?

>>14806 Clubs are just fucking shit man, I wouldn't read too much into they were probably all drunk, if they were a group of people that didn't know each other they might have been having a weird vibe like about to fight or splitting drugs or something So glad I don't have to go to clubs anymore that's one thing I don't miss from when I was more socially active

>>14810 Well I'm sure they weren't drunk or fighting, it was just a casual conversation.

>>14806 If you are socially retarded don't start with fucking clubs, that's like learning how to drive with a Lambo

>>14806 It's very hard to approach people in clubs. I wouldn't try it, nor do I recommend it. If you aren't with friends yourself, that sends to them a huge red flag. Not recommended at all. What happened was basically expected. When I moved city I tried making friends alone in clubs and bars. I am very social, that shit doesn't work.

>>14827 If it's gay clubs it works.

>>7758 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIV3UdAClXA

>>14772 befriend ben shapiro or smth

>>14773 I think you were just unlucky. I consistently improved my social skills over the past 3 years and what I can tell you is, whenever you step out of your comfort zone you sooner or later will do something cringy cause you aren‘t attuned to that level yet. Plus, you don‘t know certain things yet that come from exposing yourself and gaining experience. That‘s not something to give up over though, it‘s normal. And you will get better. Everyone who is really socially skilled has experienced that. It‘s just that social butterflies did all the failing when they were children and teens, while some socially unskilled people learn it when they are adults. Also lol at your club story. Clubs generally have the harshest blow outs. Plus, you don‘t know what the people are like that you approach. Therefore it‘s bot reasonable to criticize yourself over that. They just weren‘t interested in talking to you and the girl was being a cunt. >>14827 > If you aren't with friends yourself, that sends to them a huge red flag. Not recommended at all. What happened was basically expected. Eh. I‘ve approached a couple people in clubs on my own, it‘s whatever. Clubs can be really intimidating, so if you don‘t feel comfortable or can‘t maintain a solid frame, you likely will fuck up, yeah.

>>14806 Going to clubs to meet people is a fucking meme, most people go there to dance and drink with friends or hook up with strangers, that's all. You probably got that advice from people who are absolutely clueless and just repeating shit they never tried. You can definitely strike a conversation with people in a club but it's not much different from doing so in any other public situation, there are clues you have to be aware of and someone who's socially awkward and can't pick up on them should stay far away, and ultimately you have to act with the understanding that that's not what people are there for. By the way, it's the same with gyms and concerts and ESPECIALLY bars. People always recommend those places for some fucking reason as if they're these open spaces where everyone is trying to make friends. Absolutely wrong. The reason people tend to have an easier time making friends at school and work is because they give you plenty of excuses to interact with people without coming across as overbearing or crossing a line. It's EXPECTED that you will talk to people there. You need to go to places like that. Aside from school and work, you can try >classes/courses outside of school, including sports >volunteer/community work >open hobby groups of some sort >I've HEARD gaming tournaments and similar events are good for this, but I have no idea. I imagine an advantage is people there are probably as autistic as you But even then you shouldn't expect to just hit it off with people just like that. Honestly, the fact that you managed to approach people in a club is kind of impressive, I don't think many people in your situation would have had the balls, so don't give up just yet.

>>14894 Good advice

>>14806 As others have said, clubs are a terrible place to meet perople, especially if you have low social skills. They thought of you as a creep, because they themselves are fucking animals. The only reason anyone ever goes to a club is because they can't stand being alone but they also strongly dislike their firends, so they need it all to be a smooth blur of noise, shadows and alcohol. If you want to meet wholesome people, you need to figure out a hobby that forces you to be in contact with others. Here's the hard part though: you need to stop giving other people the power to determine your self worth. When you talk about wanting to end it all (even if you are exaggerating), that tells me you're putting waaaaaay too much weight on the perceptions of people you don't know - perceptions that are based on one interaction. Maybe that's because deep down you fear that you really are a creep. You're not. You're socially clumsy, and your tone deaf attempts at socializing some times makes people around you feel uncomfortable. Understand that your lack of social skills doesn't determine you any more than your lack of helicopter-flying skills. Social skills can be developed, and if it seems to you impossible, it's likely because you have a negatively skewed sense of self, which robbs you of the confidence and self respect necessary to socialize with other people in a healthy manner. And when I say "confidence", I don't mean ignoring your obvious weaknesses. I mean being able to see them in the proper perspective. If you're nervous when meeting someone new, you can say it out loud (just don't say it's because you don't have any friends). When you say something stupid or otherwise make someone feel uncomofrtable, you can apologize and laugh it off. It's rough at first, but the more you do it the better you get at it. You'll become more comfortable with yorself, and other people will become more comfortable being around you.

>>14892 I don't fuck manlets but thanks for the suggestion I did manage some pretty good normal people conversations this past week, its hard to practice social skills in the middle of the plague though

Haven't spoken to anyone since March. Whatever progress I had made last year completely undone.

>all this talk of how to get gf's Honest thoughts on this /r9k/ classic by Eggy? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tuf59ex-U0 Watched it when it first came out (2015, during peak/prime 4ch /r9k/ which was 2013-2016 imo, the comfiest shit with all the NEET/wagecuck threads, /nightwalk/ generals, epic greentexts, that one guy who posted the >tfw no qt filipina gf Thread every single day without fail, with the same girl in the OP, and the "Some of you guys are alright, Don't go to X tomorrow if you are in Y location, Happening thread will be posted tomorrow morning" meme). And it was fucking hilarious. I still re-watch it every so often, for the laughs.

>>15021 >Honest thoughts on this /r9k/ classic by Eggy? All robots but especially black pill Incels should kill themselves

>>15023 why tho?

>>14894 I guess it really depends on the type of concert. I've had several people start conversations with me at small metal shows at the bar, but EDM concert goers are much more reserved and anti-social, talking to them seems to take them out of whatever psychedelic they're doing and pisses them off. Going to a concert with more women (especially young single women) will always be more friendly and have more talkative people than a show that's nothing but 20 year old men. An interesting lead in I've seen is people will kind of side-talk to me and tell me something, as if they don't care about a conversation but just wanted to get something off they're chest, like "hey dude, I just talked with the bassist for 20 minutes, felt cool to meet a band member", and then you respond back to them with a bit of a question "Oh really, you talk about his new custom from Warwick?", and now you have a normal person conversation going on. Anons also gotta be aware that 90% of conversations will never go anywhere the second they end. Having 10 friends means you talked to 1000 people who you never saw again, socializing is always a numbers game.

Thoughts on pic related?

>>15049 There's nothing inherently genetic (nor social), always a mixture of both. Some people are luckier than others, and if you aren't you can counterbalance with learning skills, you just need to really want it and have the time to do it (and if you don't have time for this you are basically fucked). There will always be gifted people for social skills like for any other skill. >>15048 Great observation.

>>15049 He's right that most "normal" people got there with no effort, but he's trying to imply that self-improvement doesn't exist and it isn't true, I can attest to that. I'm hardly a chad but I'm also not the spaghetti spilling loser I was five years ago. You should always take posts like this with a grain of salt because a lot of the time it's just people venting or trying to convince themselves it's hopeless so they don't have to put in the effort. Or just trying to piss others off.

>>15023 Anti-incels often like to assert that adult virginity is inherently right wing, despite IncelSupport, love-shy.com, Incelistan, and Braincels being all left-leaning, and the founder of Braincels being an anarcho-communist. Anti-incels also often regard self-identified incel forums as being largely composed of "angry white men" when in truth, incel forums have a high racial diversity.

>>15055 An adult virgin is not automatically an incel, despite most incels being adult virgins, incel has evolved past a simple descriptor and now means something much more toxic, like for example our little bitter, overweight, smoking eggy friend complaining about genetically superior men while sitting in his toyota in a crumpled shirt with 2 days worth of grease in his hair Adult virgins can't get laid for some reason, Incels can't get laid for very obvious reasons that are completely unrelated to the things they think are the reason

>>15055 incel ideology =/= adult sexless person BTW, wanted to remind everyone here: FRIENDS, NOT FOOD! Make friends first. Social skills are key to being well in the head. After that, sex will come much much more easier without the dread it has when you don't have friends. Also, good quality friends! -sociable -outgoing -cool -caring for each other -open MAJOR KEYS.

>>15057 >incel ideology =/= adult sexless person Contrary to perceptions in the media, incel is neither a political movement nor a community/subculture, but a descriptive academic term for a gender-neutral life circumstance. Therefore, incels do not share a belief system, especially not those who do not self-identify as incels.

>>15061 >>15060 Spot the bitter incel

>>15060 if someone acted in a way consistent with the incel ideology then they are an incel, regardless if they identify as one. >>15061 Incel as a descriptive term doesn't work because celibacy is a choice for 99.9%. Have sex anytime, A schizophrenic vagrant is getting head from a single mother with a crack addiction, you have no excuse for not doing it.

>>15063 >if someone acted in a way consistent with the incel ideology then they are an incel there is no "incel ideology" topkek >celibacy is a choice for 99.9%. The absolute COPE. Look up hypergamy and the 80/20 rule. >>15062 >Spot the bitter incel Hope she sees this, bro.

>>15063 >celibacy is a choice for 99.9% <meanwhile top 20% Chads hook up/have relationships with 80% of the women <polyamory increasingly mainstream <27% of young men are virgins (up from 9% in 1990) ok, Coper

Keep your inane repetitive shitflinging out of this thread, i just want to know how to make friends.

>>15063 >Have sex anytime picrel >>15069 >how to make friends Pick a goal you're working towards and talk to people who are working towards a similar goal. But don't be naive or gullible either, some people will take advantage of you in the long run, so steer clear of those types.

>>15051 >I'm hardly a chad but I'm also not the spaghetti spilling loser I was five years ago. Have you actually been able to pull girls though? Because that's the central issue around which the whole "self improvement" vs "no hope" meme rests, isn't it?

>>15068 >>15067 If life is so worthless why don't you just kill yourselves you bitter oxygen thieves?

>>15071 >Have you actually been able to pull girls though? Yes. >Because that's the central issue around which the whole "self improvement" vs "no hope" meme rests, isn't it? I guess. But some people here or on /r9k/ seem to have trouble even talking to service providers. And look, I'm not gonna pretend someone who is ugly as hell just needs to lift and get a haircut and bam instant sex, my point is that for a lot people self-improvement IS the answer, I doubt that many people even on this socialist Taiwanese woodcut message board are actually "genetic dead-ends".

>>15049 100% true. If people disagree it's because they were always normies from the start.

Where do people go to make genuine friendships after college? Like I really feel like by that time its too late everyone have their own life or are too busy wagecucking to spend time making friends. Meanwhile I got plenty of time to spare but no friends to share it with. All my old cousins and friends changed or are raising kids and shit now.

>>15328 It's impossible, sorry.

>>15067 >Look up hypergamy and the 80/20 rule. were you aware these are not real and there is no evidence for them?

>>15433 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB7qKbZWoWk

>>15437 >b-but this isn't all women!!

>>15049 >be born pretty, male >high school was excellent and things happened >stop doing self care >things no longer happened >in college, return to doing self care >things happened Hmm. I don't think these guys have an excuse. <lift weight for one day >im not strong, give up <talk to girl and she doesn't immediately slobber your sick >woman bad, me bad too

>>15437 >>15442 Have you heard of the movie The Notebook? Women love it. Like love love it. What's it about? Rich girl falls in love with laborer. Eat shit. Believe in yourself.

>>14907 Nice advice. even tho I'm not the best at socializing I'd add that the social setting is really important. For example, at a club, you probably don't know what to talk about and people only percieve you by your looks and not by what you've said. On the contrary, if you go to a leftist gathering (Protest, strike, bookclub) you'll probably be on a terrain where you know much more and have tons of shit to say. Thus people will act much more interested in you. That's my 2 cents good luck anon

>>15453 >Fictional rich girl falls in love with fictional laborer. Wow! Guess I was wrong!

>>15451 >self care go back to twitter

>>15464 >i can use a youtube video as proof, but you can't use a movie as proof

>>15472 Yes, because one is the actual opinions of a real person, which is shared by the vast majority of women, the other is literally a fantasy played out by actors given a script.

>>15466 Regional dialect, dumb dumb.

>>15480 >one woman Magically all women >youtube lady describes how they are all socialized into it Aren't you a communist? Don't you also agree that bad shit can be socialized? Meaning it's not permanent? Why would you be interested in a superficial person in the first place? Date a leftist or someone that isn't interested in hypergamy. Don't continue this "All women are blank" bullshit. Women are not a monolith.

>>15487 >Date a leftist Yeesh, no thanks, "leftist" women in the US are all mentally ill college students and/or psychotic landwhales. >someone that isn't interested in hypergamy. lmao and where would I find those? Church? >Women are not a monolith. You're right, they're all different kinds of shallow and retarded.

>>15487 I mean I don't know what else to tell you at this point. You're obviously privileged with being well-adjusted and normal, so you'll never actually be able to understand people like me. You're the equivalent of libshits who tell people to pick themselves up by their bootstraps and just work hard and they, too, can be rich and successful. Some of us have broken brains from years of abuse and illness, and we're meant to be ignored. Some of us legitimately cannot fucking fit in anywhere or with anyone.

>>15493 There's people out there that will accept you as you are, as a friend, and will help you on the path to healing. They're likely leftists too. People aren't broken, you're not broken. That'd mean that you have some sort of use-value and were otherwise an object. You're a person.

>>15492 You already have a system of thinking about yourself and other people that precludes your failure.

>>15494 I appreciate what you're saying, I do. But after all this time I just don't believe this anymore. I've been fucked over one too many times, people who I thought were friends or family or authority figures. I do not understand or trust anyone. I've built up so many defense mechanisms that i've trapped myself inside my own mental fortress. Nobody out there can penetrate it, and I lack the capacity to dismantle it on my own. I am not worth anyone's time or effort. People only want to be around cool people who have something to offer. I don't have anything.

>>15496 I'm sorry, anon.

>>15498 Yeah well, it is what it is.

I'm making progress in keeping up routine conversations with people which is good but I went overboard with a recruiting spiel to two people from my last job while drunk, which is bad Why do I want to talk to people so badly when its so awful and stressful?

>>15496 Take shrooms Then ket Then LSD That should knock down that prison wall

>>15496 gonna have to second the advice to do drugs IDK about using them once and bam, youve been therapied, but definitely psychedelics can help a bit, and more importantly, shit like molly, 2c series, the entactogens will help you socialize and break down those fears. Also, just anxiolytics possibly. Try self-medding with different things, see what works. Just stay away from harmful stuff. Like id get drunk all the time if it didnt end up making me depressed and fucking my liver, but obv what i need instead is just something else that lowers inhibitions and anxiety.

>>15534 >>15627 yeah i don't think i'm going to do drugs, i'm fucked up enough as it is

Thoughts on this? Admittedly its a long read but I find myself agreeing with it. You can only do so much with what you've been given, the only advice I've ever found to be useful is to actively believe that you are able to change.

>>17574 >never ask anyone for help for anything. Ever. Yeah.. good idea.. make your life harder. I used to browse /r9k/ a lot when I was 17 to 20. I'm not a normie, but I did improve myself severely. There was a word for it. "Cyborg". They have "robots" which are the complete failures and cyborgs are something in between normies and robots. I felt very understood when I browsed that site back in the day. I was entirely surrounded by normies all day in school and outside and had nobody who could relate to my most pathetic of fears and problems, so having found /r9k/ back then felt like home. I'm glad with time I began to turn away from that site, because it is awfully toxic and unhelpful. They take truths but then put a pessimistic and defeatist spin on it and frame everything as black and white and unchanging, essentially turning it into a lie. I'm skimming sections of it and I find myself disagreeing with a lot while acknowledging the truth in some parts. But that truth is severely muddled and perverted to fulfill some desire of self-victimization. There is just so much I could point out but it would be a lot of work. So I will just point out one example I just skimmed over. His bar analogy in the third post. >If they do like, it's usually out of pity and not out of a genuine interest. This is the perfect example of trying to turn any fucking thing around to mean something negative. That is so implausible, but out of the perspective of someone who hates himself and has low self-esteem that scenario makes perfect sense of course. I will say as much, it can feel good to indulge in this negativity, because yes things in life can be shit and it feels unfair when you see other people who look like they are living on easy mode. But you gotta accept the hand you've been dealt and whatever social milestones you missed out on. You can work on yourself and choose to live a life you are happy with.

Okay, give it to me straight... Is anything from the OUA/RedPill sphere legit, or is it all insane rubbish? I just want to fuck. Like, if I am interested in friendships with people I act accordingly. That's fine. It's the same whether male or female. But. When I am in the horny zone, I just want a y/n answer if that makes sense.

I'm just here to vent. There's no /leftytrash/ thread anymore like in the 8chan days (the GET thread is zero effort weebshit) so I guess I'm posting here. Semi-recent college grad here. Spent months before the pandemic applying for increasingly desperate job positions. Got three job interviews, rejected by two and ghosted by one. After Covid hit there's fucking nothing, just uploading your resume, then copying all the information in it into the boxes, day after day after day all so their computer algorithm can rule you unprofitable and ghost you. I could probably find some minwage foodservice hell job but the last thing I want to do is bring covid home to my fatass boomer parents. That's the backdrop, all this time isolated with nothing to do has sent me into a deep despair. >tfw no gf I'm beginning to think that the economic subordination of women is a good thing, because command over material resources is the only way that autistic dweebs like me can get some. By autistic, I mean a literal psychiatric label. Something about me unsettles women on a primal level. It's either no eye contact or a rapist stare. I've been on a few dates, all I want to talk about is Second International Marxism or calculating hyperfocal distance. Instead I ask them Dale Carnegie shit about their family and pets, forget all of it, and never get a second date. >Just talk to women bro I'm fucking incompetent, but I try. Got a number from two classmates, got ghosted by one, first date from another. On top of that, two online dates, one of which got angry when I told her she had to pay for own food. >Go to social clubs bro Was involved in my campus' "revolutionary socialism club", was a total sausage fest and felt no connection to the few women there. It was a dogmatic Trot cult (IMT), they indoctrinated everyone to believe that any reading material not by the MELT canon or IMT members was "academic marxism" or "sectarianism". Paramount guru was Alan Woods, some pedantic grandpa who's either senile or has always been a charlatan, always brushes off substantive economic questions with "dialectical" mysticism. Haven't been involved with political orgs since I left college, maybe I'd have a chance at impressing some Bernie Bitch in the DSA with my knowledge of Antoine Labriola, but I doubt it. >Get fit bro Already have, but I'm a 5,5" manlet. I don't lift anymore but my hobby keeps me in decent shape. Linus Tech Tips body, don't know how else to describe it. I'm not suicidal, but I think I might start to be if shit keeps going the way it's going. I tell myself that I should dive back into political theory with all my free time, but the end goal of socialism is looking more and more distant. Don't get me wrong, I still fucking hate capitalism, but I can't shake the feeling that the alternative would be some soviet-style bureaucratic farce where prewritten resolutions are adopted unanimously, as seems to be the case already with all "anti-stalinist", "socialism from below" organizations. I just don't - oh, sorry, I see we're at the end of our time here, back to Halo legendary campaigns and copying wagecuck stats.

>>17625 >Instead I ask them Dale Carnegie shit about their family and pets, forget all of it, and never get a second date. Did you even flirt

>>17634 Well, I'd complement them on their hair and eyes and shit, and on one of the dates I reminded myself to "contact" (whatever the PUA term) her hands only to literally be brushed off. "Just flirt" - I have no fucking idea what that is supposed to mean.

>>17642 I'm not saying flirting is easy or anything, just asking. Complimenting is good, but you shouldn't over do it. Otherwise you come off like you are putting her on a pedestal and girls don't like that. If she's attractive she has plenty of dweebs who do that already. If you try to flirt physically it's not a big deal if she brushes it off or doesn't reciprocate. Maybe she wasn't into it in the moment or she is shy. If she response lukewarm or dismissive don't make a big deal out of this. Like when you go for a kiss and she turns her cheek. That's totally fine. Keep talking to her in a good vibes kind of manner and pretend nothing happened. Retry later after building the vibe. When I go on a date I either hug her at the start or make this french greeting where we kiss next to our cheeks. It's just to break the touch barrier early on. When we start walking somewhere I will just put my hand on her back to direct her. When we chill at some place I will bring up some random reason to touch her, but in a playful manner. Like I might say "Show me your hand" while extending mine and look at her nails and say something like "Oh you painted them black? Are you some sort of goth girl? Or did your goldfish die and now you're depressed?" Just some dumb shit to be playful. You could also say something like "Your earrings are pretty. Can I see them?" Then you brush her hair behind her ear and get up close to look. It's obviously irrelevant what they look like, point is to build sexual tension by close proximity and touch. You shouldn't over do it with touching her of course. Three or five times are enough on the first date(s).

>>17644 >Complimenting is good, but you shouldn't over do it. ... If she's attractive she has plenty of dweebs who do that already. I definitely wasn't overdoing it. The compliments were genuine but I know I was giving them in the most awkward, forced context imaginable. I think my problem is that I desperately want some kind of emotional intimacy, someone who cares about my feelings beyond some direct or indirect monetary transaction. Thing is, I can't provide this myself. I don't give half a fuck about your dog, or how unfair your grader is, or how much the newer albums from favorite band suck. Maybe I'm not meeting the right people, but I'm running out of places to find them. Class is over, online dating is fucking hell for a manlet. I'm done with the fucking "Leninist" left. Maybe there's potential in the idpol agony that is the DSA, but my dad threatened to kick me out of the house if I joined. Wasn't even broached to him, the org was just mentioned in some conversation about AOC (he doesn't know I'm revleft).

>>17650 >Thing is, I can't provide this myself. I don't give half a fuck about your dog, or how unfair your grader is, or how much the newer albums from favorite band suck. When people are in scarcity they have the tendency to only think about themselves and to not care about the needs of others. Meanwhile people who have a sort of abundance are in the headspace where they want to give freely to others. I'm not scolding you or anything, but I am describing a type of behaviour that you seem to be exhibiting based on that comment. The problem is this is unattractive. It causes all kind of negative behaviour like neediness, being socially uncalibrated, being less able to find the right tempo with others. While I understand your need for intimacy and that other things are not going well in your life, there is no way around it, you need to find a way to be content even without girls. You might think you are depleting your options, but be honest, you probably live in a town with thousands of girls, right? You actually have plenty of options. Technically you could meet a girl anywhere and maybe there are options you haven't thought of. >The compliments were genuine but I know I was giving them in the most awkward, forced context imaginable. Don't let this discourage you tho. There was a time where I cringed at the thought of giving girls compliments, let alone the ones I'm attracted to, but things that feel unusual become normal when you do them often enough.

>>17644 >While I understand your need for intimacy and that other things are not going well in your life, there is no way around it, you need to find a way to be content even without girls. Story of my fucking life. I've been faking it all my life, never once gotten close to making it. "Just bee yourself" is even worse. >be honest, you probably live in a town with thousands of girls, right? You actually have plenty of options. Technically you could meet a girl anywhere and maybe there are options you haven't thought of. Plenty of fish in the sea, blah blah blah. I've tried approaching complete strangers, every single time I'm met with a look of fear and revulsion and immediately mentioning a boyfriend, real or not. Care to think of some options for me? The other thing I've tried is hobby stuff like the "camera club", it was even more male dominated than the IMT, all middle aged gearheads jacking off their $3000 telephoto lenses with portfolios that make my cliche photos look decent. I don't even know why you'd want to do photography in a social setting anyway, most of the appeal for me is the serene solitude of being completely alone in scenic places around sunrise.

>>17655 >I don't even know why you'd want to do photography in a social setting anyway, most of the appeal for me is the serene solitude of being completely alone in scenic places around sunrise. Dude you are clearly intelligent and I'm sure a girl would feel attracted to you if you articulated what interests you. That is because girls are attracted to passion and ambition. >I've been faking it all my life Well don't. Learn to understand your psychology and what triggeres those happiness hormones, specifically in you. I remember in high school I realized everyone liked the very happy people the most, that's why I faked being happy too, to get people to like me. But I had depression and disliked almost everyone around me. To me that felt unfair that being happy seemed much harder to me and that I was implicitly expected to fake it. But then I realized it's not about faking being happy, you need to genuinely become happy by all means. Especially for your own sake and not to be liked by others. We all have our specific triggers that make us feel proud, attractive and happy. As the master of your own life it is your duty to yourself to figure out what your triggers are. >"Just bee yourself" is even worse. I thought about this piece of advice a lot and I will tell you what I think about it. I think it is both correct and wrong in a way. Be yourself is wrong if it means you should never change yourself and evolve. If you can identify things in your life or in yourself that you deem to be a problem, then change it. Being yourself shouldn't mean to stay 100% the same for ever, as if human beings were perfect or if growth and improving weren't necessary. Of course they are and you should, but under your terms. The point is not to change merely because you fear the judgement of others or because you want to be liked by others. The opinions of other people can serve as an indicator that something is wrong with you, but you must develop the competence to judge yourself whether or not something actually is an objective problem or merely subjective and therefore shouldn't be changed just because others don't like it. Like music taste. On the other hand being yourself is correct if it means being authentic in the moment. You might have not reached your personal ideal, but when you are in the moment with other people, then be authentic and act on intuition. It makes your interactions with people more natural and free of anxiety. If you feel comfortable in your skin, most likely others will feel comfortable around you too, because people sort of mirror your own internal world, based on how you feel about yourself. In the background you might be changing things in your life and about yourself, but in the present moment with others, be authentic and speak transparently. And you don't act authentic because you expect people to like you more for it, but you act authentic because you realized it's futile trying to get people to like you, who aren't your match. That's what I learned the hard way. The positive are that you will have better relationships with people who match you, you feel more confident and many people actually will like you. But don't make that your goal, that's the paradox of it. >I've tried approaching complete strangers, every single time I'm met with a look of fear and revulsion and immediately mentioning a boyfriend, real or not. In the last year I approached perhaps 3 or 4 dozen girls on different occasions and there have been nights were most girls didn't like me and nights were most if not all girls I approached liked me. You said you approached complete strangers and they reacted negatively, but maybe you were unlucky? Maybe there was something flawed about your approach and if you got feedback from another person watching your approach you could see the problem and fix it? All I can say so far is that you should keep trying. If you have a Chad friend go as wing men and ask for his advice. Make sure he is a good and honest guy though and not one of those toxic faggots who boast and lie about their sexual accomplishments. >Care to think of some options for me? Pretending Corona isn't a thing: festivals, concerts, parks, events, night clubs, volunteering somewhere (lots of girls usually) and house parties.

>>8035 it's me again. So I started a new job a couple months ago at a deli. Been going pretty well and I'm generally well-liked by the people there. They even invited me out to get dinner with a bunch of them. I unfortunately wasn't able to go because of some dumb shit but they apparently do it every so often, so at least the door is open for the future. Maybe I'm not a total unlikeable loser after all.

>>17713 You're going to make it, anon. I went from a sort of outcast or social pariah to a legitimate respected leader among my peers at like 30 years old. You'll do that thing where you lay in bed at night regretting stuff that happened even the very same day forever but if you can find the internal resolve to not make that same fuck up again for a while you'll grow into what you want to be

My advice for social skills is to think like a journalist in a sense (or a good journalist anyways). Watch documentaries by Louis Theroux and Anthony Bourdain. These guys are/were very good at getting people to open up to them because they had an empathetic, non-judgmental approach where they let their subjects tell their own stories. They keep an open mind and mostly just ask open-ended questions. That's what makes them interesting and why people talk to them -- because they're interested in others. People also like to talk about themselves. They have their interests and passions. I've found that asking open-ended questions can get people talking. You don't want to be pushy and don't want to ask things that would make people uncomfortable, although it's okay to take some risks, of course. But remember the key words: >Who >What >When >Where >Why >How Those are the building blocks of storytelling, and people like to tell their stories. Who is it, what is something they do, when do they do it, where do they do it, why do they do it, and how? There are endless variations of questions like this. You're on a date? Forget about asking them about their fucking dogs. Talk to your date about *them*. What is something they're interested in and what they want to do when they're not working? And then when they start talking, they will produce details that you can then use to ask more who/what/when/where/why/how questions. It could even be something that might seem trivial, one time I spent most of a date asking my date about an internet forum that they loved to post on -- what is they like about it? How did the forum come into being? How do people post there? And then suddenly you're spending 45 minutes hearing everything you wanted to know from this person about all the details of this obscure forum they've posted on for 10 years and the culture of the place and what they get out of it, too. You can make a lot of friends this way. I got a member of the Bandidos biker gang to talk to me for an hour about being in the Bandidos -- although I had a leg up because I knew a few things already and my dad hung around those guys in the 70s. But I just went at it like Bourdain and asked him about what it's like to actually ride a motorcycle with these dudes on a rural highway going 100 miles per hour with 20 other dudes. And you know what that's like? It's fucking amazing. And I'm like, fuck yeah, dude. And right there, from his perspective, it's like "this guy gets it, he's cool." I had to be careful about what questions I asked him, but as things developed, he'd volunteer information about himself that he wouldn't normally tell people, like being shot at by another biker gang while on a "mission." And I'm just a scrawny nerd who looks like Louis Theroux. Last guy I got to know was my neighbor's bro-like boyfriend, who I would normally not have anything in common with, but I learned early on he was really into skiing and snowboarding. So right there, we're off to the races, because this dude will talk your ear off about skiing and snowboarding. It's this guy's whole universe. What it's like, how'd he start, where/when does he go, what is that like, etc. etc. etc. And you can make a few wise cracks but don't fake it like you know -- I don't know shit about snowboarding, but this guy would certainly tell me all about it. https://youtu.be/bct8stbZafI

>>17730 (me) Also, remember these guys' professional thing is being able to go anywhere and talk to anybody. The question of "why" also can refer to many different things. But remember to be empathetic. If there is something this person has got going on, why is it important (to them)? Remember we're talking about something they do, some interest, some hobby or passion. Maybe it's their work (although often it's not). Maybe it's their kids. But why is what they're talking about important to *them*? What's the meaning of it? That's where you'll find the truth about a person. I made a friend at a dive, drag bar in Galveston one time, just hanging out drinking and smoking on the balcony, that eventually came to the subject of her kids, which she mentioned she had. Well, how old are they? What are their interests and what do they like to do? And you can do some banter about this, but I don't have any kids and I don't know anything about raising them. It seems really hard! Wow. Turns out, this girl worked at a Texas Gulf Coast gas refinery, working-class woman, the husband and father to her kids took off, meanwhile her daughter was this science whiz who wanted to study microbiology and was on some fast-track college program. Isn't that amazing? She was so proud of her daughter. And her kids were the most important thing in the world to her, and I could tell, and I told her that before my friends dragged me out of there 30 minutes later to hit up the next bar. And I wished her and her family all the best.

>>17731 (me)

I am almost incapable of talking in a casual situation, I usually just say "OK" or try and force myself to laugh at jokes that I don't find funny due to irony poisoning. However, when I'm talking about anything serious I'm extremely eloquent and well-spoken. I can easily console friends that are depressed or feeling troubled or debate about politics but when I see someone and they try and talk to me I have absolutely no idea what to do. What would you guys reccomend?

>>17730 I think this "journalist" theory of yours is really interesting that I might try out.

>>14893 >blow outs >approach >maintain a solid frame You're obviously familiar with PUA terminology, and you say you've improved over the last 3 years. Were there any particular resources (books, etc) you used? Did you deliberately practice your social skills, like making sure to go out more than usual or setting specific challenges?

>>17619 It's kind of like the occult, anon. The practical advice, what they're telling you to actually physically do, for the most part that works perfectly well. The reasoning they give for why it works, the ideology behind it, is completely bugfuck crazy.

>>18074 >The practical advice, what they're telling you to actually physically do, for the most part that works perfectly well. Example please? All I read is "MOG Erryone breh, just neg her and ignore her brah, she'll want your dick in no time bro!"

>>18088 >"MOG Erryone breh, just neg her and ignore her brah, she'll want your dick in no time bro!" Again, similar to occult shit, stuff that started out as perfectly reasonable advice got mangled by mechanical repetition and people acting in bad faith. The concept of 'MOG'ing was originally just 'you need to be assertive, you can't let other dudes walk all over you' - good advice for PUA's intended audience (undersocialised men), but disastrous when harped on endlessly by bodybuilding.com's miscers, the kind of dudes who'll glass a guy for 'lookin at [his] girl' 'neg'ing was originally just 'playful teasing is a key component of flirting' - obvious to anyone who's ever flirted before - but incel psychos took it to mean that 'the only way a woman will fuck me is if I can make her feel as bad about herself as I do about myself' 'ignore her' was originally just 'stop acting so fucking desperate for a root', but redpill reprobates took it to mean 'if you don't treat every woman like an interchangeable part of a thousand-strong harem, you will die a virgin' As I say, PUA consists of a core framework of useful, practical advice on how poorly socialised men should improve the way they interact with women they want to fuck, namely: - take care of their appearance - be assertive and confident - gain and demonstrate the approval and respect of peers - be exciting by stimulating a range of emotions If you're a specific type of socially awkward nerd, PUA material can help you figure out what you're doing wrong. Over that useful, limited core there exists a mile-thick layer of encrusted fascist/misogynist messaging. At this point, however, we're a solid half a decade past the worst excesses of the manosphere. The useful advice has been recovered and sanitised into a less cognitohazardous form (compare Mark Manson's 'Models' to Roosh V's 'Bang'), and the worst PUA grifters have moved with the Overton window to straight fascism (see Heartiste, Cernovich, Roosh, etc).

>>17730 best advice I've seen thus far. they actually use a similar "journalist framing" technique in crisis intervention and hostage negotiations. you can talk almost anyone out of suicide simply by doing this well enough - trust me.

>>18098 >glass >root >uses 's' instead of 'z' Are you an Australia? Anyway, interesting point. I'd be curious to hear you decoding other terms.

>>18102 >Are you an Australia? Yeah, don't remind me. 2020 was supposed to be the year I finally got out of this corrupt one-horse country. >I'd be curious to hear you decoding other terms. I'd be happy to. PUA material, along with a lot of deliberate extra socialising and leaving my comfort zone, helped me go from unlikable autist to well-regarded normie. This was back in the bad old days of the 'manosphere' - as you can imagine, it took quite a bit of 'translation' work to make the corpus of people like Roosh V accord with decent communist sensibilities. I'm happy to save others that effort, so feel free to ask any questions.

What are good openers for dating apps or sliding into girls' DM's? I'm tempted to just say: "Damn Anon, you are so bad. Will you let me hit?"

>>18330 depends on the girl and the culture of each land Being honest is a good start , mention something in her bio

>>18330 dating apps: comment on something in their profile, invite them out somewhere cool within 3-5 messages ideally public for their peace of mind, especially ideally something that you were already going to so it's nbd when they flake (it is normal for you to go out and do cool things, right anon?) hit em with the 'wanna smash' if it's super late or their profile suggests they're in the mood for it (the profile you see at 11am on wednesday isn't necessarily the one they have up at 1am on saturday) dms: play it a little cooler - hit em with an invite within 10-20 messages vs the 3-5 on an app, connect more strongly on the basis of common interests sending them content they haven't seen and that they'll like is a good signal to send - ie, you share their humor and can provide novelty ABC applies online just as much as it does in real life: Always Be Closing don't languish in their dms, don't have in depth heart-to-hearts in the tinder chat - move to an irl meet asap normal prinicples about invitation timing apply - assume that by wednesday her weekend social calendar's been booked act like the same is true for you (and strive for it to eventually be true if it isn't already) >"Damn Anon, you are so bad. Will you let me hit?" general rule when trying to smash - declaratives over interrogatives there's a fine line between confirming consent and draining an encounter of all sexual tension that line is the same as the one separating 'will you let me x' and 'you should let me x'

>>18134 Thanks. What would your Top 5 or top 10 distilled "tips" be?

>>18337 Note that the following is going to be aimed more toward people characterised as 'shy guys' or 'a good person but not fuckable' than dudes who are regularly characterised as 'creepy' or 'coming on too strong'. The obvious stuff like 'wash, work out, dress well, stand up straight, pay attention to her body language', etc all applies even though I haven't gone into detail about it. The exact reasons why these tips work have been omitted for brevity, but the leftist explanation will generally entail saying 'socialisation' and 'lived experience' a lot, while the rightist one will be a long, droning 'biotruths'. There are tons of little tips and tricks and rules that work well but have gone unmentioned, as in practice you'll forget them entirely unless you resolve to go out and put them into practice the same day you read about them. Above all, observe Dan Savage's 'campsite rule': leave a person in better shape than you found them. If you think something I've said below countermands that rule, I can assure you that you've misread me. 1. SPEED The number one mistake you see over and over again is dudes not escalating the interaction fast enough. This is the sole real basis for the 'friendzone' - the dude did not register his romantic intent in a timely manner, and was therefore assumed not to have any. Some men act as if their sexuality is an unbearable imposition, an idea that needs to be slowly introduced to an unwitting woman in order to avoid scandal and rejection. Ironically, acting like this guarantees rejection. This tip applies to every step of the interaction - don't hang around exchanging glances, go up to her literally within 3 seconds of making eye contact. Don't leave room for Jesus between you all night, establish (respectful, consensual) physical contact. Et cetera. 2. PUSH/PULL Poker machines lose their compulsive effect if they always pay out. Cats stop playing with a string when you stop bouncing it around. A rollercoaster that doesn't go up and down is a train and isn't nearly as fun. A nascent romantic entanglement loses its thrill if the outcome is never in doubt. If you're constantly pushing the interaction forward, you give the impression that there is nothing that would be a 'dealbreaker' for you. This in turn implies that you have low standards, which implies desperation, which implies that you aren't worth her time. Conversely, demonstrating that your attention and approval isn't a certainty implies the opposite about you. In other words, if your approval is free it's not worth anything. Pulling back occasionally gives the interaction some spice, makes her invest in it. Also, if you're constantly running hot, you're only hitting the one emotional note, which quickly gets boring. An effective social interaction of any kind should hit on a range of emotional states - intimacy, sure, but also contentment, melancholy, laughter, anger, joy, fear, curiosity, etc. The wider the array of emotions you can stimulate (in a harmless way, of course), the more engaging you'll be. She'll feel like she's 'known you forever' (because you'll have a big range of emotional associations, just like people she's spent a lot of time with). 3. ABUNDANCE The easiest way to make a million dollars is to start with a billion. Social media sensations gain followers on the basis of their follower count. Protoplanetary bodies accrete material according to the gravitational pull of the material they already have. Women will like you if they see that lots of other women already like you. There are two ways to make this work for you: externally and internally. In PUA terms: 'social proof' and 'abudance mentality'. Social proof is pretty straightforward: direct proof that you're socially valued. You turned up to the club with a big mixed-gender group. You've worked the whole room at the party. The bartender's your best mate. There are women hanging off your every word. You can bring people and groups together, make introductions. All your stories start with "So I was out with me mates...". And so on. Abundance mentality is you behaving like someone who has a lot of social proof. You'll stride confidently into a room, because you know everyone likes you. You're not going to bend over backwards (or, heaven forfend, pay) for a woman's approval - if anything, you're deciding if SHE'S worth integrating into YOUR schedule. You're not going to sweat the outcome of an interaction, either - why would you? It's not like women are in short supply. And of course, you're going to be nothing but friendly to dudes in any mixed group you approach - after all, competition implies scarcity. This might seem like a chicken-and-egg problem, but it's quite soluble - the abundance mentality behaviours are incredibly easy to fake at range and in shallow interactions, and a quick round of 'working the room' creates enough social proof to kickstart the social proof accumulation process. As it accumulates, the need to fake abundance recedes. 4. RAMBLE There's going to be an early phase in basically every approach in which you're doing significantly more than half of the talking. The exact content of this conversation will be unimportant, but the total information imparted will make or break the interaction. You'll essentially have to indirectly demonstrate that you're interesting (Tip 2) and in demand (Tip 3). The point is, you're going to be carrying the conversation for a while, so you should get good at speaking extemporaneously. If you're not good at this, it can be convincingly faked with some well-rehearsed stories tuned for entertainment value, coupled with a bit of improv practice. In my younger years I joined Toastmasters, a public speaking club. I can recommend it, as you get the opportunity to practice both prepared and off-the-cuff speaking. Also, don't worry too much about if your chosen improv ramble topic is 'too niche/nerdy/boring', for a couple of reasons. First, if she's not feeling it you're gonna see it pretty quickly in her body language: closing off, moving away, reduced attentiveness - this will provide ample warning for you to change tack. Second, topic choice counts for very little compared to emotional content. If it's uncool but you speak passionately about it, you'll likely maintain her interest. 5. PRACTICE Reading all the books and top 5 lists in the world won't help you if you don't go outside and talk to women. A certain Go proverb comes to mind: "Lose your first hundred games as quickly as possible." I know of two ways to maximise your practice: immersion and structured (or 'deliberate') practice. For immersion, put yourself in a position where you have to interact with people. Getting a bartending job is a popular suggestion, what helped me a lot was staying in hostels when I travelled overseas. You can also try structuring your practice by setting specific, incremental goals - 'I'm going to go out 3 nights this week', 'I'm gonna introduce myself to everyone in this bar', 'I'm gonna approach 5 women tonight', etc. Aside from all that, it should also be noted that 'it's just practice, it doesn't matter what happens' is also a pretty decent mindset to adopt when going out - from the outside, it looks exactly the same as the 'abundance mentality' of Tip 3.

yeah i just don't think i want to even bother attempting to date lol

>>18368 This is hands down the most spaghetti proof quick guide I've ever read.

>>18368 How do you initiate a one night stand type situation? just broke up with a long term girlfriend and am looking to fuck around a bit before settling down. Have no problem talking to women or getting them to like me, im just more used to dating girls and only having sex after a dating for a while.

>>18368 >just have perfect social skills and get a huge popular social circle, bro

>>18419 >How do you initiate a one night stand type situation? Be attractive and wealthy (wealthy not required if you're attractive enough). Risk sexual harassment charges until you find someone who reciprocates. Bang. Leave asap or next morning at latest. Ghost. Repeat.

>>18419 Everything about meeting women is at its core kind of a numbers game, and that goes double for one night stands. Getting a one night stand is more about logistics than anything: Is she actually looking to fuck that night? Can/will she ditch her friends to go with you? How easy is it to get to your/her place? There's a certain need to 'sort through' women who aren't logisitcally capable of a same-night encounter. In terms of actually getting to a one night stand, it's pretty much just a matter of compressing the first few dates into one night. That seems like a big ask, but in practice those dates only have a few basic functions: You learn what kind of person they are, you bond over mutual experiences, and you become comfortable with each other physically. I'm not usually one for 'tricks', but something that does help in this situation are location changes - it makes it seem like you've been together longer than you have (similar phenomenon: forgetting why you came into a room after crossing the threshold). This all, of course, assumes that you're doing things relatively above-board - not just firing off "u up?" texts at closing time to all the numbers you got over the course of the night, or pushing rope in a bathroom stall while you're both munted on pingas. >>18427 I object to this reading of my post in the strongest possible terms. However, I can see how a person might interpret it the way you have. I will attempt to restate the post's thesis in a different way: Success with women is, substantially, a product of good social skills. The broad category of 'social skills' can be broken down into a few basic component skills, each of which can be improved with practice. Applying these basic component skills also kickstarts a positive feedback loop of social success. Put more succinctly - start talking to people. Pay attention to how things go. Keep doing that and you will develop >perfect social skills and a huge popular social circle. Does that make my post any easier to parse? I've written quite a few words at this point, so I'm kind of invested in helping my fellow lefty-anons get better at socialising. You don't have to be a poorly socialised autist forever! I got out, and you can too. Please let me know if there is a part you don't understand or believe, or if you're having trouble figuring out a concrete action plan from what I've said. >>18431 Honestly mate, what are you even talking about? Average-looking poor people are perfectly capable of having one night stands. The only places I've seen that operate rigidly according to that 'LMS' blackpill logic are nouveau-riche porky hives like LA and Miami. And 'sexual harassment' isn't even something you can be 'charged with' outside of the workplace. Honestly, I find the whole 'blackpill' contingent quite tiring - it's almost always the result of either an unwillingness to practice or a complete failure to self-reflect. Also don't ghost people, that's a cunt move. You're all adults, just say "Last night was fun but I'm not looking for anything serious". Honestly, how fucking hard is it to just communicate and not be a shitheel?

>>18434 Your post made sense, I just can't do any of that because I'm extremely introverted, which impacts my social skills and prevents me from developing a real social circle, which only reinforces the image people have of me as a pathetic loner and reinforces my self-loathing. It just shows how many nigh-impenetrable barriers there are between me and getting something that most people just naturally fall into.

>>18455 basically i feel like this guy >>17901

Ok, someone from the cytube directed me here so how the hell am I supposed to interact with people nearby during rona? For context I'm a university freshman during my cores online and just generally too boring to carry a conversation.

>>18488 Read the thread, there are some good advice (like getting a Bourdain nice attitude). Plus, take care of your health in this cursed times. Nice dubs btw.

>>18455 >I just can't do any of that because I'm extremely introverted Mate, over the past few days I've written hundreds of words on a nepalese naxalite bulletin board about how talking to women works. Does that sound like something an exrovert would do? For every day I spend practicing this shit I have to spend a day and a half alone to recover. Being 'introverted' is not an excuse. Learning social skills is something that anyone can and everyone should do, regardless of what position they start from or what hindrances they might face. There is practically no ambition, no activity, no dream in this world that can be achieved without somehow engaging other people. >impacts my social skills and prevents me from developing a real social circle Don't worry about whether you 'have a social circle', that shit comes after you're comfortable introducing yourelf to new people. Gotta walk before you can run. >image people have of me as a pathetic loner Unless you're in high school, if you don't talk to people I can guarantee you that nobody has any image of you at all. Once you start socially engaging with people, they're gonna think you materialised out of thin air in front of them, even if you've been in there for years. If you are in high school don't worry about it, just turn this info into a plan that you can implement as soon as you get to uni. High school is unreasonably difficult on account of how there's nothing to do and everybody's neurologically incapable of empathy. You either luck out early with sports, money, etc, or it's hell. Fortunately there are no consequences going forward. >my self-loathing Your self-loathing comes from a history of social failure, right? You've used the data you have to build a model of yourself and the world. You only have past evidence of failure, so failure is your only possible future. If you want to challenge that model, you need to generate enough contradictory evidence to invlidate the ld model. What you need to do is start racking up some successes. The trick here is to move at a pace you can manage. If you can't bed a woman, make your goal to have a conversation. If you can't chat, aim to introduce yourself. If you can't introduce yourself, settle for asking her the time. If that's a bridge too far, practice making eye contact as you pass people in the street. If terror consumes you at the very thought of that, do it wearing sunglasses. I don't give a shit who you are or what ails you, you can look at a passing stranger's eyes for 2 seconds while wearing fucking sunglasses. >how many nigh-impenetrable barriers there are between me and getting something Social skills are somewhat unique, in that the barriers are only as big as you act like they are. Start thinking you're gonna make it and the barriers will be small enough to step over. Refuse to take that first step and you'll be stuck at the bottom of an infinite well. >that most people just naturally fall into Comparing yourself to others: the worst, most pointless waste of time. What, just because someone else did it better, quicker, that means you shouldn't ever get some for yourself? Does Chad give up just because GigaChad could pull twice as many women in half the time? Does GigaChad give up because Charlie Manson could convince women to do more than GigaChad ever could? Did Manson give up because Little Ronnie Hubbard made a mint where Manson only made a life sentence? Did Hubbard give up just because Jesus inspired so much more wealth transfer and slaughter than Hubbard's puny charisma could ever manage? Did Jesus give up just because he'd never be able to escape his weak human side like dear old Dad? Fuck no man, they did it anyway, and they all came away with something. The prizes ran the gauntlet from "Laid" to "The Kingdom of Heaven", but the point is that everyone who didn't start got nothing. The only person you're in competition with is your past self. "Ha! That autismo cunt would never look anyone in the eye. I did it twice! An infinity percent increase over the best that idiot ever did", etc. >>18456 So you can talk eloquently on some subjects, especially ones you've insight on, but clam up at other times. To me that sounds like you don't talk when you're out of your depth. It's a good habit, overall. Nobody likes the arsehole who runs his mouth about shit he doesn't understand. The problem (I'm guessing) is that you end up out of your depth on 'normie' topics. You probably then enter a bit of a spiral, where you think your silence betrays your lack of experience of this normie thing, which marks you out as an autistic impostor, which means they hate you and don't want to hear from you, which deepens your silence, etc. If what I've described above is the case, there are three things I can suggest: First, as mentioned upthread - try asking questions. Even if they're idiotically simple. Even if they're just echolalia + uptalk. You interlocutor gets to talk more, you give the appearance that you're interested, and you stand a chance of learning something that you can use to break your silence in a later conversation. Second, and this'll probably sound weird - take notes. Note down the circumstances that presage your silence. Who are you talking to? What topic was under discussion? Any other pertinent information? Go over your notes - post them here if you want. Find patterns. Outside of the pressure of a social interaction, can you think of anything to say about those topics? If so, memorise it! Then you'll have something to say next time it comes up. Keep that up and you'll pretty quickly have something prepared for most topics that come up (you'll also learn how small is the range of topics covered by most people). Third, practice changing the subject. Conversations aren't all one way. You're not just there to please the person you're talking to with no regard for yourself. A good conversation meanders around, finding topics that both participants are happily able to talk about. There's no rule saying you have to stick to something you can't speak on. In any case, intervening to change a topic, especially in a group conversation, is a great way to improve your assertiveness. You can take note of and practice the kinds of things that get people to pay attention and comply (volume, tone, gaze, wording, etc). >>18488 Honestly mate, you'd probably be best served just taking notes and making plans for what you can do after the rona subsides. Otherwise I'm sure there's all sorts of clubs or hobby-type things that have moved to Zoom and whatnot, that'll at least get or keep you in the habit of interacting with human beings. Your social development wouldn't be advanced by you catching the plague.

>>18496 Thanks for the thorough write up anon. This reminds of a site called Good Looking Loser which touched upon some of what you're saying, or very similarly. What do you think of the concept of "Go for 'NO!'"? Basically go for it, if rejected cool your jets, warm up, then try again. If No a second time either repeat process or preferable terminate the interaction and move on.

>>18368 >RAMBLE >text text text I'm not knocking your guide (haven't even really read it tbh just skimmed for a few secs) especially if it's worked for you but: Is this really necessary? Women (and people in general) love to talk about themselves no? Why not just ask her open-ended questions about herself, actively listen and ask relevant follow-up questions that show that you're listening? This seems way more low-effort, probably just as if not more effective depending on the girl, and with much less possibilities for a guy to fuck up and spill his spaghetti if he's not a well-trained public speaker with lots of experience in Toastmasters like you are.

I think i was lucky enough to be properly socialised by the time I left high school and would consider myself quite extroverted now. I wasn't always like this, but moving when relatively young forced me to learn how to make friends, a skill that I feel is best learned as young as possible. I remember what is what like being too shy to talk to people or being unable to carry a conversation with a girl, or only being able to talk about niche interests with close friends. Thank god I progressed away from this somewhat early because I can only imagine how much more difficult making those first steps must be when you aren’t in school setting. I respect introverts who know that their introverts, but don’t just give up.

Anyone else have chronic loneliness? I'm not looking for advice or anything just wondering

>>18368 All of that shit is gay. PUA doesn’t work and is for autistic nerds that overanalyze social situations. You don’t need to be a psychologist and manipulate a chick to fuck her, just talk to them like a basic genuine human ffs.

>>18511 You're lucky, your social development was good enough that the rules and mechanics of social interaction seem obvious to you. Others have not been so fortunate. PUA, hateful as it may be, often represents the only material available for the less socially-developed to figure out the lessons they missed out on as children and teenagers. Some people never got the opportunity to learn how to >just talk to them like a basic genuine human ffs

>>18510 The main reason covid quarantines haven't bothered me is the fact I've been practicing social distancing for most of my life. I'm used to spending all of my time by myself. Doesn't mean I like it, but it's all I know.

>>18520 Same here man, its like the pandemic never happened

>>18368 Since you are so knowledgable, can you tell me how to train my flirting skills? I feel like flirting is like being funny; it's not something you can just flick with a switch and have. When you are funny things just spontaneously come to mind, so you have little control over it. I can flirt sometimes the same way. Good shit comes to mind, but it's very often not in my control. Many times I speak with a girl I'm interested in but I can't think of anything flirtatious to say. How do I fix that? I memorized a couple of things that I can use when the context is appropriate. Other than that I'm at the mercy of my mind hopefully coming up with something playful to say. What do I do, grand master? I'm a bit more experienced than the other lads here, but I'm missing this sure fire way of always knowing how to push things forward sexually.

I've always wondered how common it is for someone to not have any friends their entire life. I've never really had friends, never hung out with anyone outside of school or work, and it kinda seems like it's a rarity to encounter anyone who is just so uniquely maladjusted that they were never able to succesfully form relationships. I had a few "friends" in highschool but that was really it I guess. I kinda wonder where everything went wrong though. From what I've observed, most people have never ever had to put in effort to exist as a human in human society. I've found socialization an uphill battle for as long as I can remember. Am I just an outlier? At this point I don't think understanding where everything went horribly wrong would help though. I'm almost 25, middle age is going to get here faster than I think, and I only really have two years of school left before I get thrown into writing spaghetti code and whatever third rate company will take me. After that, I don't think it's even going to be possible to meet people. I live in a huge, densely populated area and it honestly feels like there's really no one around, and even if there was, how am I going to reconciliate having spent 25-40 years of my life completely alone with someone who more than likely has lived a normal life? I don't really have any thoughts anymore day to day, there's just nothing left to talk about with anyone. It's not so bad. There's more than one way to experience life.

Bros my whole life has been fucked by a kind of body dysmorphic disorder. I hate the way my face looks and because of it I never really talked to many people or made friends/put myself out there. It’s kind of stopped me from doing things in life I wanted. I never took any pics with friends or of myself because of it. Now i finally have saved up enough money for a nosejob or something, but I don’t know if I should do it. I feel like it’s kind of cheating or it won’t be me and if I end up in public again people will ask and bring it up. I do want to escape this and just feel normal/fit in, but this doesn’t feel like a great alternative. Also it’s permanent and what if the doc fucks up my face even more or something. What gives anons should I just do it?

>>18836 I used to have friends and now have none for a long time now. The only thing I miss about it are the good memories, but I’ve found you can have just as many good memories alone. However to succeed at it you still have to do new fun shit, you can’t just sit at home on the internet and having no friends tends to go hand in hand with that. I’ve had good memories alone hiking, journaling in a new place, traveling, making something new/ setting up a cozy home atmosphere, new hobbies etc. Now that some of my memories alone are just as good, I don’t really miss having friends all that much. However I do think it’s good to have an outlet/ different perspective by talking to others once in a while. I don’t consider myself as having any real friends, but acquaintances. They suffice for the most part.

surprised no one has posted picrel yet

>>18838 yeh just do it, just make sure it's a good doctor. the rest of your arguments were honestly just spooks. fix whatever bothers you. acceptance isn't always the answer, imo. but i'm saying this as someone who also suffered from body dismorphia. had moderate acne that was very difficult to get rid off. god i was so tired of brainlets giving me the most obvious pieces of advice "just wash your face bro!" ohh... i didn't know. i always rubbbed sewage in my face before, thanks do it and when people ask you about it just say you are happier this way. you don't need to justify shit.

>>18879 >haha just keep trying bro it'll happen eventually

>>18879 Why don't you have any friends anon

>>18889 I'm a boring fucking faggot who never learned to socialize like a normal person, that's why

I’m losing my mind in this covid shit. How do people make friends in their 30s, i have no one to talk to all my friends are married now and shit. Cant even go out and socialize, reading books all day is getting tiring

>>18955 >How do people make friends in their 30s I've got some bad news for you...

>>18965 There must be hope for me anon, there must. Do people even care about genuine friendships anymore, or is it all just spectacle?

>>18965 A lot of millenials are not married. I really don't see it as any different than making friends when I was 25. Unfortunately most will come through work.

>>18976 Ok 8man.

>>19533 it could be worse, you could be 32 and still in that position haha its not that bad, I still see friends from college and I've made maybe five new ones since. still, it's hard going if you're not an outgoing person. cultivating inner peace helps, tho that's a bit of cheat

Why is this place so full of incels?

>>7305 Social skills are hard as fuck. Suggesting someone read a book is like fucking murdering your family to some people. Just read a book and discuss it with me. Why is that supposed to be an aggressive thing?

Yeah, I flip out easily. Imagine you were having normal conversations and everyone just ganged up on you and started screaming and shouting. That is what it is like for me.

Mr Geek boy isn't going to post now. He knows it's too dangerous. You should have heard him yelling and harassing me. You would all whoop his ass if you heard the things he said.

Feels good to be legitimately asexual.

My life is a nightmare. A nightmare I don't want to wake up from because I deserve it. I deserve my disorders and the mental issues I have. I'm a bad person. Everyone around me thinks I'm normal and well-adjusted, just a little bit quiet and shy. Let me tell you, the joke's on them. I can fake the small-talk; I can dance the all-important ‘social tango’ if the situation absolutely requires it (for work etc). But none of it is real. I’m an actor. My life is one big deception and the world is my theatre. If only they knew how dead inside I am when they tell me all about their weekends and I say all the right things. I'm an emotional masochist: I love feeling sorry for myself and agonizing over how awful I have it. I torture myself every night while I lay in bed by contemplating my pathetic life over and over and over again. Intellectually, I realize there are a lot of people worse off than I am and this makes me feel awful. But the thing is, I crave that negative feeling and use it to fuel my self-pity. I wallow in my misery and self-depreciation and I love it. Even on a social anxiety forum I don't fit in. At least most of you can honestly say, 'I want to get better; I want to live my life without the issues I have and get past this.' At least you have that to hold on to. It would be an out-and-out lie if I said I wanted to change -- I just want to 'go away,' but I'm too much of coward and masochist to ever do it.

>>19552 Not even shitposting, consider therapy. Even if they don't give you happypills having someone to talk to and listen to your nonsense for an hour a week does wonders. Everyone has been at the stage your at anon, wallowing might feel good for a bit but you'll only become numb after awhile. Also what you need to do is evaluate what you really want. Some people are just asocial hermits. Do you WANT social activity, or do you want it because you've been told that's what you're SUPPOSED to want? If you're happy not having friends then don't feel miserable for not meeting neurotypicals' expectations. I used to let it get to me when co-workers felt sorry for me for not having a social life, but I've realized that it's retarded when we simply have different goals and needs. If I told you that I felt sorry you don't like having a screwdriver shoved in your urethra, would you feel ashamed? No, because you probably don't want a screwdriver in your urethra. If you don't want friends why the fuck should you feel bad if you don't have them?

>>19553 Helpful post except for the /v/-tier analogy at the end.

I just kinda want to use this space to vent about how much COVID fucked with my social life. I've gotten way better at dealing with people over time, and actually kinda had a decent social life based around my music hobbies. BUT COVID took a dump on that, as well as made being able to move out on my own in this city I grew up in even more impossible. Fuck anons I just want to go to another $10 punk show and get wasted while hanging out with the m8s and meeting new people.

1 write how you think an interaction would go 2 don't leave out any detail, and idealize the fuck out of it 3 forget the document for a month 4 read it back after a month of trying to socialize, realize it's all cringe and redact and rewrite the bad parts 5 wash rinse repeat until you're happy with what it looks like

>>19552 Agree with the other anon. Get therapy. You should also write down stuff. Keep a journal, maybe burn each entry after writing it down so you feel more at ease writing. I used to draw and try to get my emotions in the drawing. I'm not good at it at all, but it worked wonders. Also acting, as you describe it, is incredibly draining. I suffer from that too and don't know how to stop.

>>17574 A huge but refreshingly honest Black Pill. I independently came to similar conclusions as the anon in that screenshot since a few years back, but had not seen it worded so eloquently before. The only part where that anon might be wrong in my particular case is sex. Not that I've had it, I'm a virgin. More so that I doubt that I will be a virgin forever. Back when I was several years younger (HS and Uni years, I'm in my mid 20's) I can count probably a dozen different girls (maybe a bit more) who I could have banged. 7 or 8 of them I was almost guaranteed to hit if I had chosen to fully reciprocate their physical advances (I chose not to). The other 5 or so were a maybe if I had played my cards right. It wasn't even a case of me being "too oblivious to recognize signals of interest" either. I knew exactly what they were doing (playing footsies, talking my ear off, sitting shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh with me on couches, giving me extended hugs, holding hands, hugging me from behind such that their breasts pushed into my back, cuddling, kissing me on the neck, that same neck-kiss girl telling me she's in love with me, another girl in HS walking with me to a friend of mine's house and sneaking into his house with me since he was at band [or was it cross country?] practice, his parents were not home and one of the backyard doors was open so she followed me inside such that me and her were alone in my friend's house for a few hours, one girl even jumped on top of me while I was lying on a bed just chilling at a HS party etc). It's just that whenever girls flirted with me like that, it never seemed real to me, even when and while it happened. So I basically didn't ever feel like I "deserved" such affection, therefore at most I would reciprocate their touch but not kiss them, make out with them or escalate to sex. Even with that girl who kissed my neck, I only kissed her back on the forehead so (as strange as it sounds) I've never even kissed a girl on the lips despite all those experiences. But I digress, and I wasn't recounting all of this to "brag" or whatever (don't know how it could be interpreted as such anyway, considering none of those interactions involved actual sex), just to illustrate the point that if I've gotten that close to banging girls before (but didn't because I deliberately chose not to), then me actually banging girls in the future (should I choose to do so) is possible. However, funnily enough, that doesn't change the fundamental black pill truth of what that anon from this screenshot >>17574 is saying at all, not even in my case. Like yeah, back when all that happened with those girls I was /fit/ and trim/slim from playing HS sports and all (I got fat a couple years after Uni), and I started lifting for the first time in my life several months ago which is steadily reversing my post-Uni fat gains and re-creating dat dere V-taper that I had back in HS and Uni, and this perhaps would allow me to land some local girls to bang through like OkCupid or something idk. Buuut that would never result in a real relationship anyway, or fundamentally change my life circumstances. At the end of the day, I would still be a NEET with no friends (or: none that I more than extremely rarely talk to via text/IM and don't already have their own life set up anyway) who lives with his parents and has zero job prospects, which is an exactly 0% base on which any girl would ever want to have a relationship with me, even if I was to fuck her once or a couple times off Tinder/OkCupid or some shit. So yeah, I basically accepted since a while back that what this anon from the screenshot >>17574 describes as that normie social life, girlfriends/wife and milestones is beyond fucking ogre for me dude. When I had just started to realize this at like 19 to 21 years old, I got sad about it. Especially when I would go on night-walks alone to my old HS or to the park where me and my group of HS friends used to play football, tag, hide and seek, and I would realize that it's over, that all of us had gone off on our separate ways to separate colleges/jobs/etc, that those happy times of youth and close male bonding had passed and that they would NEVER happen again. That all I had left of that were my memories. I sometimes cried hard but silently (those silent tears streaming down your face kind of cries) at those times, alone, sitting on the park bench at night or sitting on the bleachers of my old HS at night, just processing it all and taking it all in. Sometimes on my night-walks, maybe semi-related idk, I would walk to my old elementary school, to the other park where I used to play basketball/chill with my best friend from elementary school or even to my old pre-school. Once I also silently cried while looking at the empty swing-sets/play equipment at night of my old pre-school, with my fingers grasping the chain link fence while I took it all in. "What I would give to be a little kid again, or even just to be a freshman in high school again", I would tell myself back then. Not long after, one of my (if not the) closest friends from college died and it hit me hard as fuck. There was a group of 4 of us including me since freshman year Uni who were best friends and nearly always chilled together, he was one of us 4. This song always makes me think of him, it has no lyrics but it's the vibe of it that really gets me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlLUtndzw7A Like a year and a half later, this other friend of mine from college also died (he wasn't one of the 4, but was close to my friend who had died before and I'd say semi-close to me too, like I wasn't a regular part of his friend group but the few times just me and him would hang out we would chill comfy for a while) and though it didn't hit me as hard as my first college friend that died, it still hit me pretty damn hard. All of this to say that, pretty much, life is full of pain and some of those painful events might eventually get dulled in the intensity but you will never truly get over them. And, at the end of the day, somehow, I kind of just deal or eventually learn to deal. I've adapted to spending most of my time by myself and not talking to or barely talking to anybody and it's not even something that particularly bothers me or disturbs my calm all that much anymore. All the social stuff and talking to girls and everything just kind of ended up seeming not that big of a deal/not that important to me at some point compared to the pain of my close friends' deaths when they were way too young, in ways that are not fair, don't make sense, that I won't ever understand and that will never be ok no matter how much time passes.

>>19584 (me) Anyway, apologies for the TL;DR. Here's something much simpler that I have a little dilemma with at the moment: I'm slowly getting a V-taper from lifting weekly and walking every day for the past several months so that will maybe help me get more matches on OkCupid/Tinder etc right? Cool. However, all of my pics on these dating apps are old pics of me from when I was out of shape (my activity levels from playing sports in HS really dropped after I graduated). Here's the deal: I don't have enough storage space on my cell phone to take new pics. What do?

>>19585 First suggestion is to stop using hookup apps. Second suggestion is to get a microSD card from Ali. Third suggestion is to ask /tech/ next time.

>>19559 same, used to d&d with a bunch of guys but we haven't spoken since gathering in groups became forbidden you could say, oh I guess they weren't real friends, but that's not how it works for me I can't socialize outside of context. I need to meet x people in y setting or I just don't meet up, at all. except for one or two really close friends. COVID burned all my social context (except fucking work, where there's always the implicit distance of being colleagues) to the ground

>>19588 >used to d&d with a bunch of guys Based, I wanted to get into it but all this shit happened and I really don't want to use crap like zoom or discord.

>>19588 that's a lot of us right now and we feel you. I look forward to my sunday online reading group - try to join one if you haven't tried already. there are some really cool people out there and zooming makes it so easy to just be yourself™

>>19588 Tbh anon just shoot them a message, I'm sure they'd appreciate catching up. Who knows, maybe you can meet up with like 1 or 2 of them and go hang out?

>>19592 if security is your issue I recommend checking out jitsi.

So I made this thread for you to talk about improving your social skills and you turned it into a black pill thread with incel undertones. Okay I guess.

>>19613 Hey, the replies made by people that deep down enjoy wallowing in their own misery and filth are the minority.

>>19613 it was well intentioned my dude, but some folks dont wanna change and are okay with self pity plus some folks are trying, even if this thread helped one person aint that enough?

>>19586 >First suggestion is to stop using hookup apps. Why tho? How else are you supposed to meet girls when there's a global pandemic so IRL social events are all cancelled?

>>19619 Shit like Tinder is the commodization of relationships presented to you like a sales catalogue. I'd even argue it's detrimental to your mental health.

>>19613 TBH I blame COVID. What use is socializing and finding new people when everything is shut down?

I have to control my outbursts but he bugs the shit out of me. Just thinking of him irritates me. I don't want him reasing my Plato articles or Pasolini articles or any of my work. He should pay me if he wants to read my artistic essays.

He wants work then he pays for the work actually suitable for a man of my caliber. No, I am not working for your inbred brother in law that probably drinks fuel drippings out of the back of a bus.

Or the fat one. My god, how I hate the fat one. He should be Rose's bew boyfriend. Two fat dumbasses made in Heaven.

>>19620 what is more detrimental, not engaging in dating at all, or dating via shit like tinder? because like it or not the "old ways" do not exist anymore for many of us - even before covid

>>19760 >tinder i got zero matches what do

I'm proud to say that I've never even downloaded a dating app before or used any type of websites for it in the least.

>>19761 upload better (more edited perhaps) photo's and get back at it. the pictures just draw them in, that's when you win them over with your personality :^)

>>19760 >not engaging in dating at all unironically yes

>>19620 Also tinder is very blackpilling if you're bottom of the barrel.

One thing I'm lacking is knowing how to avoid awkward silences or when to realize a conversation has ended and it's time to say goodbye. Am I autistic? How do I correct this?

>>19767 Do what I do and attempt to end every conversation almost immediately to minimize chances of embarrassment, making yourself appear rude and further isolating yourself from everyone

>go outside >talk to strangers normally >get home >start repeating scene in my head thinking I must've done SOMETHING wrong Fuck you anxiety.

almost 22 and i have no social life whatsoever and never have. hobbies are empty to me now. all i can do now is read and go to work. don't think i can take life like this much longer

>>19770 you can try to, in the beginning or middle of a convo, mention something that you were in the process of doing. that way when the convo ends or stalls, you can refer back to it and disengage

>>19772 Same TBH

>>19763 tbh it was years ago i have given up

>>19774 Like I just don't know what to do. I see all the usual meme advice of "go out and meet people", but even ignoring COVID, how the fuck do you "meet people"? I don't even enjoy anything to begin with because my brain is fucked by years of isolation, but even if I did it would just be the same. fucking. shit. Just like school and work. I make polite conversation with people there, maybe talk about basic personal shit, and then we all move on, because their lives are vastly more fulfilling than mine and there is no benefit for them to adding a worthless, boring loser to it. I don't fucking get it, anons. I really don't. Everyone else around me makes friends fucking effortlessly just by being at work or school or fucking I don't know, gaming online. I can't. I'm just that fucking worthless and empty of a person. I don't enjoy *A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G.* anymore. I just read fucking stupid books about history or science or whatever the fuck because...??? I don't know, so I can pretend to be informed? Just in case some girl wants to talk about antebellum American politics I can impress her? All normalfags want to talk about is Call of Duty or the Mandalorian or whatever normie shit of the week is popular. I used to be into that sort of shit, but now I hate it and don't bother. I find pop culture tiresome and have no desire to watch shows or play games that aren't just autism simulators like Cities Skylines. I play a game and get bored after five minutes because it's such a fucking waste of time. But even if I was into that shit still, what would that get me? A shallow connection with another person because we happen to CONSOOM the same Product™? Why fucking bother? I can't develop bonds with anyone because I'm fucking hardwired to live in Loner mode forever. It's how I adapted to shitty circumstances when I was young and it's completely fucked my development to the point where I can never and will never fit in fucking ANYWHERE. Fuck this shit.

Currently saying "fuck it" to social skills and working out hoping my new looks will carry me through life and conversations. Am I a selfish dick or is it just smart?

>>19800 If nothing else is bearing fruit, it's just pragmatic imo. Potentially it'll actually provide you an oppurtunity one day to talk to a wheyfu, but for now let the iron be your gf.

>>19800 ideally it will make you feel good and look good which should help a lot with socializing and carrying through everyday life

>>19761 improve yourself (and your situation + prospects) until you get pleassure. Fr though lift weights get dates, and that applies for self care and mental exercise too. I only got loved when I started loving myself. And I'm an ugly fucker but it's really all about that base. Your 0 will become a ∞

>>7697 that's a mindfuck, no go

>>7697 Last time I did she turned out to be one of those facebook boomer schizos (except in her 20s) who believes corona is a hoax made up by some secret worldwide cabal who also is pushing progressive values onto children or some shit. Sure, at first I could ignore it but then she started talking about that shit more and more often.

>have crippling anxiety >also be adhd-ridden extrovert The universe is laughing at me.

>>18976 yo email me at the email above, I can try to be a penpal friend, anon. I'm younger but I care about genuine friendships and I've many people far older then I that I hold dear, so don't think you're alone in your want for real friendship just yet in this world.

>>19818 forgot to give my email. my bad. [email protected]

>>19552 You don't deserve your disorders or mental issues. No one does. Does a bad person that breaks his arm deserve it? It's subjective for one and two you're not awful. I don't mean to compare you to Frankenstein but does a corpse of necrotic flesh made animate only have a capacity for evil? Even if you are a bad person of bad experiences and intentions, that doesn't guarantee that you'll do nigh good. Email me. I'm that penpal anon above. We can be friends if you want. If it makes you feel any better after I got diagnosed with ptsd I kind of just wallowed in it for a while, feeling at least secure and justified in my being that. I'm not saying I totally understand but that I sympathize in a way. I'm kind of a impossibly shaped peg too, I don't fit in much. And unfortunately, I was too dead for a while and more people then you'd think too are dead inside. But until we are deceased, we can return from the nightmare to the waking. I stopped having my nightmare for the first night in literally years. I accepted it as part of my life; and I didn't have it last night. I thought it was going to shackle me forever. But I woke up refreshed for the first time in a very long time. Sometimes a miracle happens, minus the religious connotation

>>19559 Yo I thought we weren't going to be able to mosh until 2024, I accepted it, I want to go to shows too. I was bad with people, I got better, then covid happened and my interior mind got better while my social skills went down the crapper worst in a long time. I don't really know when shows will come back but just know you ain't alone, so please vent all you want.

>>19584 fuck your post hit too close to home on the night walks bit. I can feel my friends just fading like glass shards on the beach. I hate when you hang out with someone or you think of them and then a time later they die and it just makes me feel fucking empty and I cry too sometimes on my night walks. I cry other times too. The only thing that's let me quell the pain is turning it into meaning and righteous fury for moral truth. I try to love the world more then the pain I feel inside doesn't love. I spend a lot of time alone too, and yeah, death has always marred me too. People just are and it feels so inconsequential compared to the weight of attrition. I think that at any age, even if culturally it doesn't feel like it, friendship and adventure can bloom even if time moves on. every single day since I was a kid I had been calling out to God (where if it were), "please let me go back to a day time forgot so I can try anew". Also if you still need pic help; use an image hosting service to upload your photos that are ok to upload. Partner had the exact issue. Used a thumb drive though

I have made several friends over the years but I'm terrible at keeping in touch with them. Any help with that? A bit before covid happened I tried contacting a very old friend but while we talked a lot I feel it kinda went nowhere and the guy already had his own life, but maybe that was my anxiety speaking. I don't know if I should bother contacting him again once the pandemic is over.

How can one train speaking when alone? I would like to get better at communicating and expressing myself, but I often keep stuttering, forgetting words, using wrong syntax, pronouncing weirdly, or just not knowing what to say in conversation. Any advice or "exercise program" for that?

>>19584 Thank you for sharing anon

>>19852 I know the people on here are pretty asocial, but I do think it's true that social media helps to keep in contact with people with little effort. Get instagram and just regularly post photos and stories or like and comment the content of your friends. Additionally, you gotta realize that some friendships simply have their expiration dates. I've quit wondering what I've done wrong a long time ago when I realized sometimes people are not your match. Maybe it was like that from the start, maybe you or them changed.

>>19906 >Get instagram and just regularly post photos and stories or like and comment the content of your friends. Eugh, I'm allergic to social media. Thanks for the advice.

>>19901 >speaking when alone You sure it's not anxiety interfering with that? When alone I speak extremely well but when there's someone in front of me I turn into a blabbering retard.

>>19901 Try reading books out loud.

Accept your fate

>>19919 >no audio What is this 4cucks?

>>19919 >you're orphaned by the teenage loves you never had

>>19932 >Yall either gotta work out Won't fix a shit personality >hobbies and quirks Nah you can't force these things, some people are just fated to be boring and alone. Just how it is.

>>19936 nothing fucking appeals to me anymore. There's nothing to fucking do anyway because of covid. I haven't left my house except to go to work or the grocery store since March.

>>19932 It's from a movie/book. >>19933 You should work out anyway.

>>19945 I always start and lose motivation after like 3 weeks.

>>19932 >No one here is as old as that guy. I'm in my 50s. So I beg to differ.

This might be a question better asked to a therapist but how do I stop being insecure and unmotivated? I used to like drawing and reading and doing stuff in general but after some messy shit during my teenage years I've become a lazy fuck that does the bare minimum in his daily life.

>>19967 There honestly can be numerous reasons for this. My go to would be depression when it comes to your motivation. Insecurity can come from not accepting yourself and fearing the judgement of others. It can also come from not regularly experiencing victories, which would make you feel confident and competent. By victories I don't mean anything big necessarily. It doesn't have to be. We all have things that we value and that make us feel proud. When I go for a 10km jog I feel like a strong attractive man. When I commit to doing my uni work on time for several consecutive days it makes me feel competent and in control of my life. Ergo, less insecurity, more pride and more power.

>>19932 >I am in my early 20s yeah that might as well be teenage love you faggot

>>19977 >Read some shit pic related is my current pile, and I have plenty more in my backlog (that aren't history-related). Reading probably is the one thing that does still appeal to me. >instrument sure i guess, i don't have an ear for music though and I'd just humiliate myself >walk and gym I do walk, gyms suck and are a pain in the ass during covid so fuck that

>>19984 Kinda based.

>>20007 Why?

>>19984 >that pic chapoid-addled brain detected.

>>20063 At least i read things other than image board posts, faggot

I feel like it should be way easier for both average looking men and women to find someone to have casual sex with without resorting to prostitution. A nigga be horny sometimes

>realize now that I'm well over 30 that I was mildly attractive as a teenager but severe BDD fucked that up >also ruined by being an autist who didn't care about how he looked so I dressed like shit and had a ridiculous haircut >still a friendless kissless virgin, except wrinkly and past the point of no return Welp, I wasted all the good years of my life

>>20101 Trash like tinder is made exactly for that.

>>20102 Just leave your routine and LIVE You are fucking 30 dude. In the grand scheme of things you are still young. Work out, use retin A to get rid of wrinkles, if you are baling get a hair transplant. I'm tired of you NIG9ERS just pitying yourself in MY thread.

>>20104 the use of slurs lets slip 3 things about those who use them: 1. unironic belief in "chan culture", spends far too much time pretending he was on 4chan in 2003. 2. underage, in body or mind (often goes with 1) 3. poor vocabulary, lack of creativity.

>>20103 Yeah, but you have to be reasonably attractive. I'm /fit/ but my face is fucked up

>>20116 >I'm /fit/ but my face is fucked up If you're in the US or UK, just wear a mask.

>>20104 >In the grand scheme of things you are still young Eh, as you get older time passes increasingly faster.

>>20122 Well if that‘s your attitude I guess you deserve your fate