No.1815571
Genuinely friends, I'm having a philosophical and mental health crisis to the point of very constant and nonstop suicide ideation, I can't handle the cruelty of American society and its people much longer, I can't handle constantly facing the liberal death drive and the hunger for annihilation of myself and everything around me it constantly pushes me towards, I can't handle living in such a cartoonishly evil society that literally nobody has a right to live and everyone must earn their right to life
How do you remain sane as a communist in the American Empire? Especially when everyone around you is a liberal psychopath? I've been unemployed for a single week and my mother, a retiree, is already frustrated at me for not having another job, she can't even consider that now we have time to spend together that we won't have anymore once I'm working again, all that matters is that I'm not selling my labor power to prove I am not "lazy". How do I even survive in a society as evil as this? A society where parents don't feel a shred of empathy or solidarity towards their own children?
Genuinely asking, how do I overcome the desire to see everyone and everything die? How do I overcome the liberal death drive that is in my own heart? Genuinely seeking resources, parties, theory, activities I can do, anything, because I feel like I am starting to enter genuinely dangerous territory with my mental health.
I'm posting here and not Siberia because it isn't just depression, it's really the psychotically cruel disposition of liberals, who are most people I know, where even my own parents think I don't deserve to live unless I wage slave almost every moment of my life.
No.1815577
This too, shall pass, both your attitude and the conditions that produced it, might not be in your lifetime but oh well, you're not the main character in a story, none of us are
No.1815579
>>1815577I don't think I am, I'm trying to stop myself from ending my life or alternatively becoming dangerous to others, especially since when I walk around on the street I increasingly see everyone as a fascist in waiting
No.1815580
>>1815579Get a hobby, you obviously need some kind of emotional release, I suggest a speed bag or Dynasty Warriors
No.1815585
>>1815583Ironically I have a gf and we regularly have sex, I actually wasn't even facing this level of emptiness when we met because conditions hadn't degraded so far
Part of why I'm asking for help is because I'm becoming unstable enough I feel like I have to push her and everyone else away to protect them
No.1815588
>>1815586this track reminds me of the time I died.
No.1815590
>>1815587
I know, that's the worst part.
I know if I push people away I'll only be even more where liberals want me, completely atomized and alienated
There's just so much rage in me now, so much hatred for my compatriots that gladly accept our capitalist nightmare
How can I feel anything but hatred for people that think humans need to earn a right to be alive?
No.1815591
>>1815585The self imposed isolation is only going to make you sicker, I know it's counter intuitive but it's true
No.1815593
>>1815590You have to learn to forgive them for they know not what they do, this condition isn't a conscious choice on their part
No.1815594
>>1815593I understand they're victims, it's just, whether I try pointing them to the horrors or even just try leading life the way I want, like leaving an abusive job, their cruelty is still without limit. They are cruel if you resist in any way. And although I know they are trained to be, it's hard for me to resist the fantasy of running a bayonet throw them.
I've only ever encountered warmth and humanity from socialists.
No.1815595
>>1815594It's like trying to rationalize with a hoarder or an addict out of their destructive behavior, you're mad because deep down you still love these people and have a shred of hope for them, if you had completely given up you would feel entirely numb. Ultimately it's going to take total system collapse for these people to be forced into what AA calls "a moment of clarity" where they can no longer live the old way. The way forward for you might very well going no contact and breaking off these old relationships, I don't know your situation and resources at your disposal though.
No.1815624
>>1815621its cool, but i will not put it on my relaxing after job playlist
No.1815626
>>1815595It'd be easy were it just my family and friends, in fact, my gf and best friends are not mentally cucked to capital
It's my family and most of this God forsaken country
No.1815627
>>1815571Have you considered moving to a European succdem country?
No.1815630
>>1815627Euroids are more fascist than Yanks these days, and gleefully want to die in a war with Russia and China for the sake of the US Imperium
No.1815637
>>1815630Have you considered moving to China?
Less then 1% of americans think about that option.
No.1815641
>>1815637I actually have, I think China is one of the only countries in the world with any sort of worthwhile future, Mandarin is just hard to learn, but as much as I have reservations about the CPC I'd rather contribute to their political project than the nightmare that is the Atlanticist Imperium
No.1815655
Why don't you burgers move to Malta?
>English speaking, not Britbong EU country
>get job
>great food, sea
No.1815657
>>1815627Unironically how hard is it to do this? If my friends move away I think I'll literally do it. Why keep living on the stolen land?
No.1815702
>>1815657Every country has different immigration laws but the standard way to gain citizenship is to get a work visa and work for 5 years and also passing a language test. Britain is culturally closest to USA but i wouldnt move there myself. Switzerland and Norway would be my first picks as they have highest living standards and beautiful mountain nature.
No.1815908
simple. remember three things
Communism will win
The world looks red
and the proletarian army is the strongest
remember; no doomers, fuck ass hoe
No.1815911
>>1815571>philosophicalHere's your problem lol.
No.1815917
>>1815655what's it like to visit for a holiday ?
No.1815927
>>1815588care to describe the time you died?
No.1815928
>>1815571>How do you overcome revolutionary despair and misanthropy?I say this without a shred of cruelty or sarcasm: Have sex
No.1815937
>>1815927I don't know if i can, i talk from personal experience, just an opinion i might say. Dying is something i do pretty often at work, so i am quite familiar with it, but i cannot explain the feeling. Art might help express it, like in the video
No.1815941
>>1815928If you think sex would cure problems like I've described I have a very hard time believing you've ever had sex or a relationship either no matter how cool you try to seem on the internet
No.1815966
>>1815928not op, but i tried this and it still didn't fix the crippling depression caused by all the things op describes and more
No.1816880
Have you tried antidepressants OP? People always recommend therapy, less people just recommend pharmacotherapy. Personally therapy always felt a massive waste of time for me, I don't wanna waste my time and money talking to some turbo normie quack. I started SSRIs a couple of years ago and it's a total game changer for me. Despite what people say, for me those drugs are actually a silver bullet.
No.1816920
>>1815571Mark Fisher books, Psilocybin mushroom & other psychedelics (ayahuasca, salvia divinorum, weed…)
>>1816880>Have you tried antidepressants OP?LMFAO this is what gets people to kill themselves. They feed us poison so we take their 'cures'. The real medicine has been illegal since the war on drugs started. Take the shroompill.
No.1816933
>>1816880This but for methylphenidate.
No.1816938
Have you ever considered just lying to your mom? She's just being unreasonable when it usually takes months to find a new job
No.1816948
>>1815571Things get a bit easier and you get used to be being a communist and living in this hellscape. I think your mood is affecting your perception a bit too much, but it's not like it's your fault.
I recommend doing an inventory of your daily habits. Stop doing drugs if you do for now.
You want to dial in diet, sleep, vitamins, exercise.
Get as much help as you can. If you can get on antidepressants then do it. But your goal should be to have impeccable habits.
Your mood is determining your reality. You need to change your entire life. It will take an insane amount of work, but it's well worth it.
No.1816950
>>1815571I understand comrade. I feel the same everyday, we're really living in a world of cuckitalist npc's. I feel you- my whole family is the same, their brains were rotted to the core with capitalist realism from the start. Parents dont even want to share resources with the kids, there is no community or society outside individualism for these burgerbrained fools.
As for coping, I dont know bro. I just am hanging on by the hopium I have to undermine capitalism the first chance I get. If I ever end up in a position of power I wont treat others the same.
No.1817018
>Especially when everyone around you is a liberal psychopath?
1. Write the name of the given communist org(s) into search engine
2. click on link to websites
3. Check address for local chapters
4. Put address into openstreetmap
5. Go to offices and socialize, apply for membership
Crazy to think you could've of saved yourself of all that melodramatic writing by just applying the basics of the political theory you claim to uphold. Or have you actually engaged with any of the communist writing whatsoever? (no worries, do that at the places as well, you seem severely under-socialized and terminally online – get out of your room and into social situations before PragerU's next Op converts you to alt-neo-conservatism through a VR porn campaign).
No.1817179
>>1815571Reading "Revolutionary Optimism, Western Nihilism" by Andre Vitchek (
https://ebin.pub/revolutionary-optimism-western-nihilism-9786025095412.html ) gave me some brief hope, actually put some tears in my eyes because of how much I related to some of the passages. SSRIs have also been helping me.
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